LyInG FrOm YoU!
by Female Hitokiri Battousai
Summary: (COMPLETED)When you are your enemy, and you can not run from yourself you learn the hardest things in life that hurt you the most, were the most promising and rewarding in the game of love...BxK.
1. LyInG

**Lying from you.**

Fhb…

R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.

Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.

* * *

Beating the bowels of everything right inside of me. Nothing seems to die. Fearing to fall I still tremble and fall down this slide endlessly…

Haunting faces bloom tonight in the crack of everything wrong and right. Shaped and colored in darkness --voices of dark angels sing to me. When I scream it goes through all the halls. The echoes come back at me. No one hears me call. Alone I am…to be---alone I am to fall.

A teenager has a life no one can understand. We experience things nobody knows, nobody sees, nobody wishes to follow. For such things we call experiences, others say we just have a very pitiful perspective on life.

People say how we dress and how we look is the character we speak. What if sometimes we found ourselves changing, altering for better or for worse, do they know who we are then? In school people treat us quite differently; They're so many different categories, from cheerleaders to jocks, from nerds to drama-queens, and then there's us, the outcasts.

In a room only filled of cigarette smoke, the stench of musky sweat, tantalized perfumes that indeed was sauntered by the tinged of corrupted alcohol and of course the high-scent of illegal drugs, bore refuge to sickness.

Inside the hollow of this room, was the sight of teenage relaxation, teenage frustration, teenage disease. Drunk on their illusional frustrations, mental and self-built inflictions they listened, they danced, they ran the show of being what they were, in the middle of adult and child.

It was weird to just see a few of them stand against the wall and watch you, with stares of silver slit eyes, those which often feed messages, one in which you quickly had to decipher if it was good to stay or go. As everyone knows, teenagers are sick. We don't have a life adults presume. They think we're too air-headed or proud that we make problems, but do we really? I beg to defer.

The room was dully illuminated with red-smoke lights usually located to the ends of the rooms, while laser lights flashed on the spinning globe to the top of the ceiling. Most hands were in the air as they waved it to and fro like the gentle rocking of the waves at sea. Then, there were those wild ones that didn't understand the first lesson of beat. Bass pounded in the room, as distorted rock blasted to its max. I watched them as I passed…the teenagers. All they ever wanted, was to be seen, to be known, to be loved…was that so hard to ask?

Constantly battling their emotions, their pairs, their parents, rules and the obscurities that endowed them, they usually strangled themselves by turning gothic or ghetto, whichever worked for them. Rebellious along the line they came, not really caring what mattered, how they were suppose to feel or perhaps react. Yet they were here exhaling their troubles in a small room full of insensible compensation of relaxation. Or liberty, hey, whatever works.

Rock and rap were usually craved and very expressive of teenagers. Is it true then, music reflect the person within? Again whatever works. Wicked rock played in the room, the acidity in the guitars were raw and very unbalance, yet teenagers called and scarred this song theirs. They thrashed their heads to and fro, hands back and forth, jumping whilst screaming. Some were punks, freaks and the subservient few, Goths.

"Salvation's sickness is mee…" sang this unknown singer. A strong and dark masculine voice he owned.

The teens repeated what he said bobbling their heads in a wild pattern. Pierced ears, nose, brows and body-parts were splashed with the site of tattoos of all different array and sizes. Enticed to this madness was the colour of black and white. Goths usually maintained a strict black colour-code while the punks and freaks usually maintain a white-black theme which was usually accompanied by the colorful hair they dyed it too.

I'm not proud of being a teen or even being 17. I'm not always the best person to talk to. But I wish somehow, when I cry to the heavens above, angels would save me regardless how I acted as before.

* * *

An: Hey, my newest wildest fic! Yup guys I swear I'm finishing this fic for sure. If I don't then find me and shoot me. (No not really). This has got to be my deepest Rk work. I took a couple of days with this, so yeh this is my baby. Please tell me what you guys think. Oh and the fanfiction competition awards are out today. See who won…

{P.s:- thank you Shiro-tanuki for the idea of making this fic accessible on my site. I may have never released it if it wasn't for her. Thanks girl, you're a real pal}

Wishing you the best and nothing the less (fhb © quote 2004)

**Review if you like…**


	2. LyInG2

**Lying from you.**

Fhb…

R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.

Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.

* * *

_June 14th…_

"He what?" Misao asked in a worried tone full of shock.

"He—he—h-e-he…he brok- broke up wit- me" cried a sapphire eye girl who cried in her best friend arms. She trembled and wailed to the sufferable world that cared nothing for her. Misao's heart broke. Her best friend was damaged; there were no two ways of looking at it. Poor Kaoru. Cradling the girl's head, Misao tried soothingly to hush the girl.

"Shh Kao…shh, it's okay…it's okay Kao…he—he doesn't know what he's doing." Misao reckoned softly.

Kaoru snapped out the girl's shoulders, "Misao…he used me" her bottom lips shivered. Her eyes watered and her face cringle to the rise of tears.

"Oh Kaoru…I'm so sorry" she hugged the older girl…

(RINGG)

"Come on Kao, lets get to homeroom." Misao lead the bigger girl away from him…

Behind them dark violet eyes, red hair and a slick masculine face gave birth through a crowd of females. Misao eyes held his stare. Her menacing gaze spat colourful literature. He winked at her. She gasped, 'asshole.'

He could only clap at her dandy verbal speech. Both girls made their way to their main class. There their form teacher sat on her seat awaiting the group of adolescents. Misao walked in with Kaoru sniffing close behind. Both girls sat but it ended with Misao stating everything was going to be okie-dokie. The teacher stood from her desk.

"Konnichiwa minna-chan" the teacher greeted.

"Konnichiwa Reaka-sensei" the children responded back full heartedly.

She smiled. "And how was your weekend students?" she asked.

"Boring" "No babes" "I went shopping" "It was a drag" "No anime on tv" "Had to study" came those replies she manage to catch.

She realized Kaoru was very silent.

"Kamiya-san, and how was your weekend?" she asked the young girl whose head was bowed in defeat.

Kaoru didn't respond.

"Kamiya-san?" she called again.

Kaoru swallowed the lump. Wiping her tears she slowly hoisted her head to the teacher, "r-rather—enjoyable?" her words croaked. The teacher could tell something was very wrong. Her eyes were full of tears and her face was gone flush.

"Ms. Kamiya-san, are you alright?" asked the teacher worriedly. She took off her glasses.

"She's never alright. The last time I checked she was alright it was the same day she got dumped from her boyfriend" a sassy comment traveled over the classroom from a raven head cheerleader known as

"Takani Megumi that was not called for" Kaoru clenched her hands.

"Sorry…but the truth hurts" she got a lot of laughing from the students

"Silence students" the teacher tried hushing the class. Kaoru gritted her teeth in sear anger.

"Let them laugh Ms. Reaka. She's sucha baby…like…totally." Megumi raved

"That's enough Ms. Takani"

"Is it? To me she's an overgrown girl who doesn't know how to woo a guy so what happens he dumps her coz she's insufficient. Face it Kamiya you're sore loser, majorly and utterly…"

"That's why your mom is dead, so worthless crap like you--- she wouldn't have to live with" Kaoru lashed back.

Megumi had always been sensitive about her mom's recent death, and the fact Kaoru used it as a triumph card in their argument really got the girl crying.

"Ms. Kamiya that was not called for." The teacher went to her desk and began writing in her pink notepad. Tearing the page out she handed it to Kaoru.

"Go to the counselor" Kaoru took the paper blinking back at the teacher

"NOWW!" the teacher shouted.

Kaoru slowly got up brushing the teacher's shoulder.

'No one knows me…everybody feels they do. The people I grew up with turn their backs on me and treat me as I am…a scared alone hollow girl.'

Kaoru bowed her head clenching her hand.

'That Megumi she feels she's so goddamn perfect, serves her bitchy right she got what she needed. Her mom had to be a saint to live with that crap, but perhaps she found refuge in her death.' Kaoru passed the many classes not bothering to look in. All her hair was covered in her face. She preferred to be an outcast than accepted, usually when accepted by her freaky pairs; they'd dare her to do a lot of dumb things. One of those things was ever confessing to Himura she liked him.

'The ungrateful fag'

She swore under her breath.

'Nobody sees inside me…how I long to find myself before someone does, but it's taking time and I don't know why' she breathed. Walking a bit again she knocked on the door.

"Come in" came a male voice from the supposedly-counselor.

Kaoru entered. "Ms. Kamiya, again?" asked the counselor. It was the fifth time she had been back.

"You know me" she started… "Trouble looks for me…hey what can I say I'm trouble's mate" she laughed to herself.

The counselor narrowed his eyes a bit. "Please sit" he offered.

She dropped her bag to the floor. Sitting plump on the chair she coldly looked at him.

"What?" she asked rudely.

"You cried… I'm seeing tear-tracks down your face" he pointed out. Leaning back into his chair. She bit her lips.

"So what seems to be the problem Ms. Kamiya?" the man asked passively.

"Oh nothing. It's just those teachers lurvvve to get me in trouble. I don't do anything to them and they just lash out on me. Meanos" she aggressively spoke.

"If your theory is as innocent, why would you think you're victimized Ms. Kamiya?" the man asked.

"I ain't know. Pheesh---ask those teachers, it pretty much seems to be a teacher thing" she wagered out.

"Are you under stress, peer-pressure, any sorta---ah, disruption, irritation which is really creaking you off? It doesn't necessarily have to be screaming in you, it could be silent too" the man dubbed.

"Um lesse…no…not presently at least" she assured by smiling at the end.

"Hmm. Do you like your school?" he asked

"Um, no" she flatly said.

"Why?"

"Because everyone classes themselves in a category, and if you're different then you're loser." She spoke…

"That's it Kaoru. You've seen your problem. You have to fit into your groups. Push yourself into a category. You only become the center of attraction when you chose to separate yourself from society. It's a clown who gets attention in a ring isn't it?" he asked

"Sir…how the hell is that working with me?" she diverged his crappy-lecture

"Ms. Kamiya, I'm afraid you asked for what you did. Nobody can ever help you because you're not even hearing your cries. You're lying from yourself…and you're confused for those matters. What I advise you to do, is read some good romance novels, or---just do some activities where you can find your inner strengths. Treat yourself out." He paused

"You know…you feel its so easy being what I am" she started

"Ms. Kamiya" he interjected her, "No you goddamn listen to me, you don't know the shit I'm going through so don't tell me I'm lying to myself. You're an imp, what the hell do you know, huh freak, huh?" she charged on him.

"Ms. Kamiya, are you speaking to me this way?"

"Yeah!" she roared back.

"I can suspend yuh"

"Oh? Then why don't you do it, huh asshole? If you're so blasted mucho why don't you do it?" she growled her face in tears.

"Because I'm trying hard to save you…"

"Pheesh" she opened his door and walked out…

Placing a hand in her pocket she took out her chew-gum and began chewing. Going back to her class she waited patiently for the principal to call her. Just daily routine really.

Entering her chemistry class she placed on her white jacket. Looking at the teacher she said, "I was at the guidance counselor"

"Again Kaoru?" asked her teacher by name Mr. Ling.

"Yeh you know me" she passed him. Taking a seat to the back many eyes followed her.

"What you looking at? Your momma, eh mama's boy?" she asked coldly.

The boy dumbly shook his head. Kaoru backed down joining her friend, Misao for Chemistry classes.

"Do you always have to make an entrance?" whispered Misao in a hush-hush tone.

"No not really, but its just my thing" she stuck out her tongue, that same tongue was pierced.

"Ms. Machimache, Ms. Kamiya, is there something you ladies would like to share with the class?" the teacher asked tipsing his glasses lower off his nose.

The students laughed looking at both ladies. Misao felt her cheeks burn turning a loving shade of temperate pink. Kaoru just looked at the man with cold eyes.

"I was just asking her for some girlie stuff without being interrupted?" she rudely asked.

"Ms. Kamiya don't give me that tone of voice or that stare missy…"

"Darn you" she whispered under her breath.

"Owwwww" the class went up to snickering-fantasy.

"Ms. Kamiya what was that?" the teacher took off his glasses vigorously.

Misao placed a hand on Kaoru's shoulder. Kaoru looked at the girl, "please stop Kao."

Kaoru sighed heavily, she didn't like to be the laughing stock but she guess it would save her from detention.

"Um, Mr. Ling I'm s-sorry..." came her small voice…

The teacher arched a brow, "Ms. Kamiya I can't hear you…"

"I said I'm sorry sheesh" she loudly spoke. The class laugh.

The teacher narrowed his eyes.

"Thank you Ms. KAMIYA" he shouted back.

She snorted.

"Students please send up your chemistry homework"

"We have chem homework Misao?" Kaoru began freaking…

"Lemme guess you didn't do it?"

"Ha, girl when have you known me for not doing my homework?" she joked.

Misao shook her head.

'Okay so she's really starting to piss me off' thought Kaoru. Sending up her report it was accumulated and stacked up in a huge pile.

"Okay so I have last week course mark pop quiz here. Again Ms. Machimache has topped the class in Chemistry" the teacher spoke point-of-matterly.

"I wonder why---does it have something to do with that college guy –um what's his name?" Kaoru whispered.

Misao blushed, "shut up"

"And Ms. Kamiya has done quite excellent again. She has second the class again"

Kaoru didn't look any how. Was she? She didn't know.

The bell rung after a clean thirty minutes. Kaoru watched her chemistry paper. 37/40. Sheesh! Frowning at her mark she crumpled her paper kicking it in the bin.

"Hey babe" called one of the boys…

"Just go die punk" Kaoru growled.

A hand went to her cheek. Kaoru turned around only to fall into a group of boys.

"Enishi had you so maimed" one said…

"Yeah and Kenshin too…would you go through all that hell for me babe?" the tall boy asked seductively. His brown hair and eyes beacon really beautifully straying her heart into those brown pools.

"When---how?"

"Shh babe" the boy whipsered,

"Lets just say Himura's little secret became celebrity news for everyone. Kyoto Prestigious College wants you…but we can't let our kind mingle with them…so we'll restrain yuh babe…" he whispered.

Kaoru pushed him back. Sending her hand across his face, she made sure blood was on her hand, "don't ever do me punk"

'People keep pushing me over the fricking edge. It's like they don't get the facial expression on my face…what is up with these punks? Do they all need a slap across the back? Oh crap I guess they do. Humanity needs a God, a fickle shame they don't want to accept one only when they're in shit'

Kaoru met up with Megumi Takani who bore a cold stare with her. Kaoru rolled her eyes. Eyes followed her back…

"One day Kamiya your ass will be in the same shit you place me in…"

"At least I won't smell in my shit unlike you" Kaoru pointed out.

'Everyone likes to piss me off, it's a teen thing. I can't wait for University, oh gosh, I hate high school it bombs'

Her second class was Kendo. She was one of the few girls. Personally she thought after all that had origin from Japan and all the gibberish about Jet lee and Jackie Chan who weren't even native to Japan, except some of the martial arts, more girls from Japan would live to the name of martial arts. But the only thing girls in Japan cared about was learning English, getting hot jobs and marrying some guy who resembled Takashi Kaneshiro. Kaoru rolled her eyes. Girls were asses at times. I mean she was a girl, but she didn't have a sign saying she was an ass like those girls. She had a sign saying original and queer so beware. But that really got struck down and people treated her differently. Well piss them thought Kaoru.

Entering her P.E locker room, she realized it was dead silent. Taking off her clothing she placed on her new P.E clothing, yet she didn't know the boys of her P.E class were peeking on.

Kaoru slowly averted her eyes to the voice that dwindled in the shadow. There leaning against the locker was him.

Unconsciously hate clouded her reasons of understanding, floating in her veins was pure sear ticked-off fury. Tears of anger well in her eyes. The predator gaze of violet that she once loved, she wished would be destroyed and no more.

"You got a lot of nerve you know" Kaoru clenched her fist…

"Do I?" his voice was deep

"You're a bastard you know?" the tears of pissed-indignation falling from her eyes.

"Am I baby---?" he addressed. She had once told him she got weak when he licked his lips.

"I'm not weak anymore asshole" she reckoned…

"Really?" he bit his lips in restraint…

"You--you knew about Enishi didn't you?" came her resentful question

"We're the best of friends…" he coyly answered

"I guess you forgot to fill me in on that little detail" she pointed out.

"Perhaps. Why are you doing this baby-cakes?" he placed a finger to her throat, slowly he trailed it down… she caught his hand snap tightly.

"You didn't even love me" came her silent reply…

"But I did…"

"You only wanted me as your piece of crap" she fought back the tears…

"Ah…but your colours really shone there" he touched her cheek. She snapped from his touch…

"Shone? How could you say that Kenshin? I use to believe in you, believe we actually had something, but it was just an illusion wasn't it?" she finally screamed out.

"No…it's there…but we just have to work together" he kissed her hand.

She shook her head comprehending him, "work together. Of course. How could I be so blind? We do need each other" she whispered

"Yes…" he pushed her against the locker… "And I want you…this time…"

"Not as much as I want you" her nose touched his. He tried to kiss her, but she diverted seductively from his lips.

"You're so hunky" she paused.

"Oh yeah…"

"You must think I was born yesterday don't you?" she pushed him off so he was leaning across on the other lockers.

"Listen pretty boy I'd cut your face but your girlies would come for my skin, so I'd reconsider, but as a reminded of our love here take this" She cuffed him across the face repeatedly.

"Don't ever ass-around with this chick ever again…got that you?" she spat on him.

Kenshin got up with anger on his face, wiping his nose from the blood he shouted, "stupid girl"

'Like your mom' thought Kaoru.

**This fanfiction has suggestive material. It does imply some very weird things, but nothing to be too afraid of. This fanfiction should be read by a 15 year old audience or older. If you're younger, and you're on a mature status, go ahead and read to your delight. I do warn however, I will not be blamed for any young person being careless enough in reading this fic because of the drama and teenage mind. No offence to anyone.**

* * *

An: You guys must think I have problems from this fic. Well I'm jaded a lot. So this fic is what I feel inside…finally it's preserved. Oh can anyone tell me if there are any fanfiction competitions? Well be loves to tell me. If you flamers wanna flame, go ahead. I'm jaded and pissed. Crack and freaked! Go ahead…I don't care…

I'm losing myself…

Thanks to all my reviewers, and yeah that's Linkin Park title song Lying from you.

Review if you want…


	3. LyInG3

**Lying from you.**

Fhb…

R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.

Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.

* * *

Class started shortly after. The teacher entered watching the students as he passed.

"Konnichiwa minna-chan" the teacher firmly spoke

"Konnichiwa sensei"

"Mr. Himura please warm up the class…" the teacher spoke.

"Hai" the boy paused looking over the class.

"Ms. Kamiya, Ms. Anagi and Ms. Chung please follow me" the teacher instructed. The ladies abided. Following the teacher he began explaining some top-stuff.

"Ladies on the 25th of this month we're going to have a Female Martial Arts competition, and since our school doesn't have much teenage girls in this hobby, we've chosen you three. Ms. Machimache has been notified about this. She will be the captain for the team."

'Oh goodie'

"Ms. Kamiya you have a lot of power, so I would advise you to keep check on your target not your colleagues." She nodded.

"I would like you ladies to train hard and from today you ladies will dual with boys."

"Awesome" the two girls cheered.

'Oh great, now we have to go whoop boys butts, how fun! Not'

Kaoru sighed. Walking away from the teacher and students she didn't feel like she needed to hear. Walking to the shinnai rack Kenshin's eyes rushed across her. Kaoru held his gaze. 'Yeh you mother-f-er suck on the fact you can not have me'

Closing her eyes she waited for Kenshin to halt the warming up.

"Listen up gentlemen, from today these ladies are going to be your dueling partners. You will not treat them like ladies but like warriors. Do you gentlemen understand?"

"Hai"

"When I called you, you will come up to the right of me. Mr. Sagara, Mr. Seta and Ms. Anagi" the three came up to the right of the man.

"You gentlemen will dual against Ms. Anagi who will be in the center and you two at the ends of the ring" he explained, "begin"

Sano charged into the young girl whilst Soujiro did likewise, Anagi held her ground waiting both skilled boys. She felt the air ripping rapidly; flipping to the right she avoided Sano's punch to her face. Soujiro however was a much faster opponent. He would not let the girl win time to catch her breath. Disappearing momentarily he rematerialized before her very eyes. The teacher shouted, "Ms. Kamiya enter"

Kaoru nodded taking her weapon with her "no weapon Ms. Kamiya" she looked at him oddly, "what?"

"It's Karate you're fighting, not Kenjutsu."

"Fine" she pelt the shinnai by his foot. Entering the ring, she watched as Anagi fell from the lash. Sano came in to kick Kaoru, but Kaoru was just as slick as him. Though he was faster than her, she was smarter than him. Kaoru ran behind him, knowing he could sense her ki, she waited for him to turn around so she would reward him with a,

"KYAIIII" she spin-kick him across the face.

The boys backed up when they saw Sano fly out the ring.

"Mr. Himura, Mr. Shinamori and Ms. Chung enter"

The six martial art students fought till there was no end. Kaoru slammed her knuckles against Soujiro face, repeatedly beating him senselessly on the floor, pushing him out the ring, her new target was Aoshi. Anagi and Aoshi fought off nicely, the man danced around her in an illusional river. Anagi attacked the wrong image only to receive a cuff in her stomach, she crumbled to the floor, seeing Kaoru's contact she didn't seem to quite understand where Kaoru was coming from. Then Kaoru jumped her brows and Anagi understood. Holding Aoshi's foot, Kaoru ran into him executing a perfect roundhouse ------but Kenshin kicked her straight into the stomach sending her falling over on Chung. Both girls fell. Kaoru felt her blood boil.

Screaming out, she ran to him really pissed. Calling her with a slender index finger he seem to smirk at her practice. She ran to him, her knuckles white in fury. Finally having his face bullseye. She sent her fist in which he caught coolly. She raises her foot to kick him but he held onto her leg as well.

"I have you" he addressed

"Asshole" she whispered.

Kaoru used her next hand but he was so fast. Pushing her against the floor, he placed his foot on her stomach, she held his foot and prepared to twist it. He did fall but when she made refuge to get up and finish him, she realized his feet were clasped around hers. She twisted a bit only to scream out.

"Enough…"

'Just when I was getting my grove on.' Kaoru snapped out Kenshin's hold. Slapping him solid across the face all the boys laughed at Himura's live slap.

"Never touch me like that again…"

Walking pass her sensei, she went to her locker-room where she changed off.

Time passed…

* * *

Lunchtime was suddenly here.

Kaoru saw Misao sitting by the cheerleaders table, kind of strange but she followed the direction.

"Oye Misao, what are you doing by these morons?" asked Kaoru knowing perfectly well who she was sitting amongst.

"These are my friends thank you very much" came the hot reply…

"Wow wow wow. Back up Misao, when have you became friends with the Cruel-eller squadron?" asked Kaoru uncertainly.

"When you confessed to everyone…that I liked a certain someone. It so happened he found out, and what's great Kaoru it all started with you."

"Girl who in cracks name told you that?" Kaoru asked in disbelief.

"My friends" she pointed out

"Oh I see what's going on. It seems like fox here just got even. Takani when will you learn if you play fire with me I will play back with fire…"

"Suck some crap Kamiya." Megumi rallied out.

"You just made me lose my friend you stubborn bitch" Kaoru cried out…

"And what you gonna do, about it? Tell your friends? Oh newsflash, you don't have any friends" the cheerleader laughed. The other cheerleaders laughing with her.

Misao looked at Kaoru. She was the only friend she had and vice-versa. Kaoru was crumbling inside, Misao knew that. Kaoru was so afraid of everything that she let her teenage obscurities get the better of her. She saw the expression of hurt on Kaoru's face.

Kaoru shook her head looking at Misao in disbelief.

'I use to think I could have one friend in this world God, but even that was too good to have. Why don't they take my heart and burn it, maybe then humanity would enjoy the smell of roses, would have more room without shit like me. It's so wrong ---but then it's so right to them. People are sick, they always will be…no wonder God allowed us to live in damnation…it's such a pity'

"Yeah keep walking lil tanuki"

Kaoru took the blows, she didn't like the feel and she'd say something but she didn't want to cause a scene.

Seeing a vacant table she dropped her plastic tray hard on the table. Sitting plump on the chair, she looked at her food so lost. Poking her peas she examined it lethargically before popping one in her mouth.

"What a loser" the cheerleaders laughed.

Misao felt her heart broke.

'I feel so lost again Kami…like countless times. Why don't I die?' Kaoru dropped her head against the table, a tear fell from her eye, 'why can't I just find myself? Why won't these nameless emotions of hurt ever die, why?'

From lunch, three periods were brought on until it was home-time. Kaoru exited the compound feeling the stray wind of Fall. She sneezed. 'Man do I hate Fall'

Pulling her shirt out her skirt she loosened her tie and untied her hair. She was fedup of being so high for her prestigious school. It was really sickening.

'And this is the cold world that exhales at me' she looked as the people passed her.

Taking out a cigar from her pocket she lit it and began on her way.

'Are we all shadows?' Kaoru passed a woman and child that seem content and left coy by life's standard.

'Or are we all living a sickness we have no choice but to live?' she didn't know. Kaoru could tell rain was coming. The skies were perked in grey rippling for miles. Kaoru didn't mind, it was the only thing she loved. Walking pass some other prestigious students she felt them brush her shoulder harshly. Kaoru turned around to the girl, pushing her back flat on her face.

"Don't be doing me that punk" she puffed the smoke.

'Everybody is looking for something I know that, but sometimes when it passes do they know then what they've been looking for anymore?' Her stagnant blue eyes just watched the world. For everything she could bury she wish she could. But wounds unseen to the eyes were buried deeper than reveries still bleeding and moving with life to race yet another day. The darkness of her past surface every now and then bringing painful images that actually moved in black and white to reverberate soundlessly in the hollow of her heart. Her memories were preserved and her attitude was just a mere product of the infirmity she bore inside. To never be seen or helped from such wounds, she could never accept mankind as something clean when mankind asked to be different yet they were all the same. Wanting to be the same thing. Rich, wicked and powerful…and SICK!!

'Why can no one hear me scream and I scream so much?'

She walked to her apartment that was situated in a Ghetto part of Kyoto. A gunshot went off but that never really scared her.

"Kaoru-chan, what's up yo?"

"Ah…nothing much bro" she did her handshake with her ghetto boys. Though she was more into rock, she listened to rap. Her friends of the Ghetto knew she liked rock, some of the rock she listened to was plain sick like Korn. But she listened to some good rock like Linkin Park. She ran up her stairs kissing the black woman on her way in.

"Hi nana" she hugged the woman.

"Kaoru-chan, how was school?" she asked sweetly.

"Sucks" she teased out. The woman laughed.

"Well I have some cookies made for you and the kids, go share it will yah honey?"

"Sure thing…" taking the tray from the kitchen she went outside where she saw the little children playing together black, mixed, and Japanese. This was the Ghetto a part of society that followed no intricate pattern of living, had no boundaries and the limitations were only meant to be broken. Outcasts indeed they were, straddling affairs which mankind would not stoop to do, so somebody's gotta do it to make a living.

"Hey squirts" she called out. They small children slowly turned to her, "come get your cookies before I eat it" she said flatly. They ran in.

"One for you, and one for you, oh and one for you" she handed the cookies out.

Kaoru manage to save one for herself but then she met a small girl, "Kao-chan, me wants cookie"

Kaoru smiled sweetly, "sure thing sweetheart" she lowered the tray for the little girl. The tot gingerly took the cookie saying thank you most innocently-sweet.

"Your welcome babes"

'This is my sanity in the boundaries of insanity. Perhaps this is my refuge and perhaps a satisfaction…'

Kaoru had grown up in the Ghetto, still outcast from them, not listening to 100 rap, but indulging in gothic and punk styles and music. She wasn't the customary girl at all. 'And I'll never be'

Kaoru sat down on the step just looking out at the small children play. 'There is something I've realize we cannot steal from children, something we can not retrieve when age. I have watched children…watch them in their messy circles play and recklessly be what they are… so carefree. Children…so young, and so susceptible. Vulnerable by all the hands of evil…why must creatures of heaven that was sent to propagate righteousness die in pools of red?'

Kaoru wished not the entire world forgot how to pray…

'I know I haven't. For God loves us regardless…and that counts…here' for the first time after so long had she interlaced her fingers over her heart. 'Here' she smiled. A ball was sent to her face, fluttering open her eyes she saw the children giggling.

"Hey who did that?"

Nobody raised their hand. Giggles trace the group.

"I'm coming to get you guys" she joked. They giggled running away from the bigger girl.

'Not all is bad…just sometimes are. And children as sweet as they, are my summer's berries to enjoy just so small but graciously remembered as memories.'

--

--

--

Another day rises…

'Baby baby baby…make a wish…' thought Kaoru as she past Kyoto Prestigious College for Boys.

'Hm…I need a good ----man…' she thought.

Kyoto Prestigious boys knew her well. Most of them at least. This was the school of Enishi Yukishiro her first player of a boyfriend. Kaoru rolled her eyes, 'man how I wish I could smack him'

Kaoru went past the school feeling somewhat relieved. A few blocks again and she had suddenly arrived at her school. The school was the ugliest prestige school in Kyoto. The walls were dull and mossy. The roof was leaking and the paint was flaking off the wall. A cheap bomb of a school. Entering the compound she showed the guard her school I.D: (An: in my school you have to show this or you can't enter):.

Getting to her locker, she saw a sign on her locker saying 'Happy Birthday Tanuki'

"Wow she cares" opening a locker something fell down. 'A cd?'

Lifting it up she read the cover, 'Evanescence from Megumi and her squad'

Kaoru felt like hurling. Out of all the cds she had to get, she got this one. Mistress of mockery to Goth.

Taking out her math book she slammed her locker shut. Walking to the cheerleader group which consisted of some boys inclusive of Kenshin she gave a smug smirk. Poking Megumi the sassy girl turned.

"Thanks for the cd" she opened the jacket, taking the cd out it fell to the floor. Dragging it across the floor she made sure it was scratched horribly. Picking up the cd she took Megumi's pen from her pocket and began writing down the silvery side, 'Linkin Park next time'. Packing it back into the case she pushed it into Megumi's hands.

"Thanks but no thanks" she paused before she walked away, "your pen" she threw it back at the girl.

Extremely jaded Kaoru retired to the girls washroom. Taking out her anti-depressant pills she realized she was becoming very---aggravated. Again. 'Well that's not new' shakily she took out the pill. Popping it down her throat she washed it down with some water. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw herself. 'My fears are you…' she closed her eyes… 'perhaps I am…'

'Why am I this---this' "SICKNESS" Kaoru screamed out.

_'Sickness…sickness…sickness' _

'And it echoes because everyone is deaf to me. They can never see it…feel it…taste it…'

Opening the tap she began to wash her face. Closing the tap she assembled her breath. Wiping her face she crazily laughed inside, 'oh well who cares, right?'

No one ever understood us…and no one ever will…

School started off bad and it pretty much ended a drag. No wonderful description for school. School only promoted fashion, classes, rebellion, stress and more stress. Kaoru found herself that afternoon walking home in rain. She didn't mind being soak from the rain, she could live. The aggravation had become worse though. Megumi actually made her day horrible by singing Amy's Lee My Immortal. Kaoru already hated the band because their lyrics were dry and peachy. Amy-Lee had no respect for Gothic and she was just bland.

(An: I am sorry if I have offended strong Evanescence fans, but seriously their band is upsetting…not to mention fake)

Kaoru popped a chewable depressant pill in her mouth. She was so fedup of fighting off her depression. School did not help suppress her flickering enigma, all it ever did do was brew it deeper. 'And I'm to die in peace? HA! Somebody shoot me…'

"Hey Kamiya…" came a voice. Kaoru already couldn't see where she was walking so just turning around to catch who was calling out really confused her. Straining her eyes, she did manage to catch his eyes. 'Enishi…oh idiot you got a lot of nerve to come talk to me…'

She saw him approaching with some of his boys. Somehow she got the message to not stay around. Taking the opportunity of distance she made a run for it.

'Why the hell am I running?'

She ran through the lanes of stores then to the back of the buildings. Kaoru wanted so badly to stop and fend herself but she knew now why she ran. It was because Enishi was a narcotic beast. It wasn't hard to read, know—whatever. He did it once he could very much do it again. He wasn't thin and frail but more preferably very built and proud. His skin was tanned and sizzled like Latino boys. His hair simply defied gravity as it seem to perk silver-blonde streaks. The complement of having perfect turquoise orbs burned every one of his features alive. So imagine how she felt when she had liked him?

'I felt good because one I was in love and two I felt bad coz I was bitched'

Kaoru ran faster, skidding into a street, she turned back to see if they were approaching. Yikes and they were. Running faster and faster she didn't seem to pay attention to where she was running. Then before she knew it (BAM) she hit something or someone and fell flat. Kaoru was sent flat on her buttocks. Locking at the person's feet, she recognized the school material. 'Uh-oh, they trapped me…'

Looking up she locked gazes with a very old someone she knew.

"Battousai-san?"

"Kaoru-chan?"

"HAH! You're caught, little kitty" Enishi spoke evilly.

"What's going on?" Battousai asked

"He---he---idiot boys wants me" she scuttled behind him.

"Oye and what's this? Battousai? How are you? Fine I hope…the chick please" Enishi came forward.

Battousai did not respond.

"Look man I don't have time to waste, just hand me the girl before I mash that pretty face up" Enishi cracked his knuckles.

"Piss off"

"I hope you're not talking to me? Coz brother if you are I will surely have you dead?"

Battousai just stared at Enishi coldly.

"Leave her alone Enishi…"

"Oh and whose going to make me, your momma?" before Enishi could finish his sentence Battousai had firmly clasped his hand over the taller man's throat.

"Death wants to hold you, are you ready for the hardest blow you'd get?" voiced Battousai lowly.

Kaoru watched as Enishi began making choking-noises. His face was already looking a slight-pale-blue colour.

Enishi was already losing his vital sign of sight. He began seeing blackish-like. Kenshin would kill him then and there but Kaoru held him back

"For everything he's done I'm afraid bastard-boy doesn't deserve to die."

"Pity" Battousai let the coward go. Enishi held his throat baffled and somewhat angered.

"You're going to regret this Himura…"

"Not as much as you're going to regret your future death… but then what is there to fear in death?" his voice was intoned to silver-harp-strings. Bellowing low tunes of ice. In those moments the rain stopped.

Enishi walked out the alley leaving the both to be.

"Oh he's gone. Phew!" Kaoru wiped her brow.

"Lone time no see Kaoru-chan"

"Same. How has it been?" she asked coolly.

"Fine…you know me. Quiet…cold…hey it's me" he leaned against the wall.

"Yeah. I do. So you're keeping good I see" she weakly smiled.

"Yeah…look Kaoru--- I'm ---I'm sorry what my bro" he was hushed off when she held off a hand.

"Look, what's done is done. You don't have to apologize for anything…okay? It wasn't your fault" she weakly smiled again.

"I don't care, I'm sorry he hurt you…-------so what now? Where are you in the chapters of love?" he arched a brow.

"Well, love and I aren't married any longer, we just got a divorce. Sniff sniff sniff. Oh well it deserved a hike. I'm not really into the love thing anymore. I'm too seen, to targeted ---too destroyed from it" she trailed off into a harsh whisper

"Coming from Kamiya Kaoru I am most certainly shock to hear this" he gave her a deep gaze of awe.

"Yeah I know it's shocking. But---I---aghh---your bro devastated me. I was destroyed literally" she explained out in a frustrated scream.

He turned his head from her… "so will you die from that?" came his cold and challenging reply.

"No…but I'd say your goddamn question is bruising. I'd be hurt wouldn't I? Aren't I a girl?" she asked loudly…

"And what does that say? That boys don't feel anything. Bull. Boys feel but they just don't scream it out like a girl that's where the emotional nonsense comes in from girls. Psychologically girls go through more…but so that doesn't boys don't have ordeals as well."

Kaoru clenched her hands. Gritting her teeth she felt like slapping him solid, 'keep talking and I'll hit you bucko'

"What the heck are you talking about?" Kaoru asked reversibly.

Battousai sighed to himself. "Forget it..its nothing…" he began walking away.

Kaoru bit her lips, 'oh goodie and we didn't even have tea and said proper tea-set manners'

"Wait" came her curt voice.

He stopped…

"Please tell me why…why your brother dislikes me so badly?" she asked sadly

He shrugged feeling weight on his chest. 'How can I answer that?'

"Truth be told…" he turned around at her… "he never loved you…he didn't think you had what he wanted"

"So---he"

"He used you" he finished what she couldn't

Kaoru shut her eyes, ' I wish I could fall now and never stand again…'

"You're targeted aren't you? For various reasons, reasons I don't need to know…but you are nevertheless aren't you?" he asked softly…

She swallowed the lump, "I can't sleep…I can't breath without thinking of him. I have to fear your school-mates…and I feel so seen inside out. Why can't I be?" she trembled…

"You said you're not in relationship" he went to her. Placing a hand to cheek, "well I'll be your boyfriend…"

Kaoru's eyes fluttered open in shock, 'what the heck just happened? I wasn't playing attention.'

"I can't stand to just watch you hurt. From now on, you won't have to fear. I'll protect you…keep your safe. I just can't stand to see you get hurt when I know I could protect you from such possibilities. Yeah I know it's a bit fast to comprehend. But I was never stereotype or conventional for that matter. But what the heck say what?! I want you to know my stepbro is an ass, but that's what you get when you have a bad mother." He pointed off

Kaoru was still in shock, 'come again?'

"Well I want you to go home little lady, tomorrow is another day…sleep well because I don't want you dying on me" what he said really didn't help her. It just promoted confusion

"Look…Battousai, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I know I'm a bit pitiful, and yeh I won't deny it. But please feeling sorry for me won't help me" Kaoru battled on.

"Who said I was feeling sorry for you? Who says I don't like you…?" he asked

"What the heck? Look, it's too soon! I just had a break up…" she shouted back…

"Look chick, your butt is in shit and I don't think you want to be more bait for my school-friends. I don't know the reason why you're targeted but I guess it was for a real sick reason. College boys never run after high school chicks, that's kinna weird. But what you did must have been an obsession. At least that's all I can tell. So I have some last news for you, I don't care what you're going to say, so case close I am your boyfriend and flick other boys. Besides if I don't protect you, it's not like you will." He touched her nose.

Kaoru just listened silently. She was taking time to accept this rash notification. It was not like she ever messed with Battousai. Never did and never would. She knew he was one of the most lethal boys in Kyoto Prestige College for boys. His somewhat elliptical half slash moon eyes that shone golden disks of lava roared that he was more than the devil and lion in one. His flaming bleeding hair of fire, fell in his face idly, casting a shadow against his eyes. His face was cut to masculine and feminine perfection, with a clean one slash on his cheek it brought out his red hair. His high pony flew like wings above his back. Kaoru had to admit he was cute. He was perhaps the hotter side to Kenshin. I mean Kenshin was hot, he had beautiful violet eyes but he had the features of a docile girl. Kaoru perhaps got a bit irked of that only feature.

"Kaoru" Battousai whispered her name…

She bit her lips. Averting her eyes slowly to him, she saw the message on his face saying 'I am there…'

'But it's too soon. It hurts accepting…hang on I didn't accept…'

"If you don't want me as your boyfriend I don't care then. But you are my girlfriend. Just let me protect you…and you don't even need to care for me. I don't deserve your care true, but please I just wanna make sure you're safe"

"Battousai please"

"I know you feel like a house of cards, just pulling at you is making you crumble. I don't wish to be new pains and reasons of hurt. I just only want to see you happy, safe. You don't need to care or even love me…never if you want" he spoke realizing she had been quiet for so long.

She turned her face to him. Walking to him she placed a hand around his neck, "it's hard to try again, but I guess trying never hurts."

He grinned. "no it doesn't"

"So you promise me your hot butt will be there for me?" she asked grinning. Her eyes were literally melting into his.

His hand came around her waist, "yes I swear"

"Well then I guess fine. I'll be your girlfriend…and your loving one too" she stuck out her tongue.

"Great…"

"Yeah…" then came the silence, 'kami we're staring. What to do now? I don't know…'

"Well um Kaoru, you should be getting home…"

"Yeah…I should…well see you soon…" she let go…

"Yeah. Check you laters" he kissed her cheek watching how she blushed.

"Bye…" she whispered…

Again Kaoru turned her back on those she loved. It was weird how Battousai, a man of steel and demeanor of ice had broken from that to this, contortion of sweetness. Kaoru turned to see him looking at her… 'I guess I deserve to be more the girl you want huh? But you should know, I was never conventional as well'

Kaoru wished heartache would not find her because she technically was not searching for it. Again memories surface of Kenshin and Enishi. The things those two boys did damage her whole-heartedly. The amount of shame they had made her build inside herself, had cause total break-down and meltdown. She could withstand little and the little she could, often got her tempered and burning a fit. Sometimes it was easier to just say we hate everyone instead of living the lies we do.

Kaoru walked back home, in the lone, dark streets of Kyoto. The pedestrian lamps rinsed light over her form as she walked back to the Ghetto building she called home sweet home. 'Caught in the arms of insanity, sanity longs to win ---question is, do we want to grasp it…even that we don't know'

Kaoru disappeared into the dark streets.

* * *

An: Here it is the next sad chapter to my sad angst fic. It's very empowering with questions that a teen would ask. Well lets just say this is my last fic. I'm finishing it. Hence I am also quitting fanfiction for a year. Please be sure to email me. When I have time from school I will email you back. This is my last fic that explains how I truly feel inside---how much I wanted to be remembered, but I can't…

Anyways…

Take care…


	4. LyInG4

**Lying from you.**

Fhb…

R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.

Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.

* * *

'Rain…rain…and more rain' Kaoru sighed looking out her window. It was Wednesday. Today was officially no school. Since the school was preparing for final exams. Kaoru watched her window as the raindrops fell down. She exhaled against the window writing what seem to be her hidden secrets from the world. 'B.H & K.K forever' she smiled.

'I'm suppose to be studying and look what I'm doing. I'm day-dreaming about my supposedly boyfriend' she sighed to herself, opening her Chemistry book she began writing a bunch of equations in her scrap book. It took her a while to break out the reveries. She thought of endless possibilities with Battousai. For some strange reason she had more faith in Battousai's words than any of Kenshin's. Battousai seem more promising. He was a boy who liked to be alone and remote. Maybe that was why he didn't confine in relationship, a bit odd he would with her. 'Is there a strange reason for all this…?'

She did not know, casting her eyes to the window, she looked at the raindrops again. 'I wish my confusion could just fade'. 'Oh I forgot…I have to go to church'

Outside unknown to her was a man in a black coat looking at the building. The man inspected the building, gunshots were in the walls. The brown-green walls were dirty and mossy. The yard was full of broken criteria, from destroyed cars, car seats, broken swings, shattered windows and so on. The man walked up the broken cobblestone path. Eyes followed this unknown form. Walking to the door the man knocked on the door. Inside a black woman was getting her children ready for church.

"Kaoru-chan are you ready for church?" shouted the woman loudly.

"Um nearly nana" replied the girl loudly.

The woman heard a knock on her door, opening the door she saw this figure in black. She feared the worst. Standing in front her door defensively, she made sure the unknown figure couldn't see or harm the children for any apparent reason.

"Yes…who're you?" came her somewhat cold and daring voice.

He pulled the hood off, "my name is Battousai Himura" he paused. The woman had known about Battousai but she didn't know why he was here.

"Yes, I know who you are now. What do you want eh?" she asked forwardly.

"I came to check on my girlfriend…" he spoke lowly. His voice sending shivers over and under her skin.

"Girlfriend. Boy what in Gods are you talking about?" she asked confused as hell

"I'm ready nana" Kaoru jumped down the step. She looked at her nana and then her eyes fell on him. 'Oh he's here…wow…'

"She…my girlfriend, Ms. Kamiya" he corrected.

"You? And Kaoru-chan are going out?" the woman asked in shock…

Kaoru bit her lips, fumbling with her fingers she spoke, "yes nana…it was kinna soon…but Battousai-chan he's so…sweet and kind, I couldn't help myself"

"You do know his brother is the same man who dumped you?" asked her nana…

Kaoru bowed her head. She was still sensitive over Kenshin. The woman grew gentle, "Kaoru-chan…I'm" she started but she was interjected.

"Yeh I know that's his bro. But he's not the devil is he?" Kaoru looked up at the woman in a few tears.

"My baby…nana is sorry…"

"It's okay nana…it's not your fault. It's what you do when you have kids you love…" she smiled…

"I guess I'll leave you two to be…" she weakly smiled.

Kaoru nodded. She subserviently held her hands just staring at the floor with a blush on her face. Battousai took the opportunity to warm the moment. Walking to her, he stood a foot from her. Wiping her tears, he raised her chin. She looked at him.

"You look wonderful…" he started…

She blushed. 'Do I? Well of course I do'

"Going to church I see" he whispered.

"Yeh…want to come?" she asked softly…

"Nah…church is not my thing…"

"Aww…it'll be good" she said with a ring in her voice…

"Nah… it's all cool"

"Fine suit yourself…if I get attacked then well it's not my fault now is it?" she tried using cheap psychology on him.

He rolled his eyes giving a cute smirk. "Fine Ms. Pushy I'll go"

"Good" she curtly said. Placing her hand over his wet rain-coat, she began unbuttoning it. Pushing it off his shoulders, she bit her lips drawing closer to him.

"Do you know what I'm thinking?" she asked whilst placing her hands around his neck…

"No…"

"Well it's two things actually" she confessed whilst biting her lips seductively.

"O-h?"

"Yeah, one is…how in God's did you get into this building without being interrogated from the ghetto men?" she asked…

"Well I'm Ghetto too you know. Even if the ghetto was to find me and hold me down, they'd know I'm part of the ghetto too. I'm not a punk you know…so it's safe I guess" he explained…

"And second thing is…why don't you kiss me?" she bit her lips looking at him seductively…

"Do you want me too?" he asked understanding her eyes…

'Oh I love to do guys this…'

"Uh-huh" she murmured.

Battousai slanted his way to her, his face so close to hers. The thick wickedness in her eyes surprised him. She was a girl who wanted to be alone and then with company. He found her weirdly intricate, but delicious to understand or figure out. She slanted her head to his, the two coming closer and closer… Battousai watched as she closed her eyes and parted her lips in a pucker-up to touch his lips, but he diverted from her lips to smelled her neck and then up her cheeks he went until he came back meeting her eyes, "you want to see how strong I am…trust me, your ki does not lie. You think I'm Kenshin don't you? I'm not him so don't treat me like him" he backed up pissed she would do him this…

"You could read my ki?"

He shut his eyes, angry she would even bother to do such a thing. "You figure it out" he coldly replied.

"What's your problem man?" she asked…

"What's yours yo?"

"I just wanted to see if you really were connected to me…I guess now I know…" she retorted.

"Do you?" he asked back coldly.

"Look Battou-chan, I'm sorry…okay" she pouted…

He seem angry and cold but she pouted some more. He only ended up laughing.

"So now can I have my kissie?" she asked cocking her head to the side.

"Sure…" again they repeated the process. This time as their faces came closer and closer, gravity of love drew them in, and BAM, we had touch down. Lips touched lips. Kaoru opened her eyes somewhat half-defeated. He was so beautiful up close. Blushing in her kiss, she saw how his eyes only spoke protection.

She sank in her kiss relieved that she would not have to fear heart-ache.

"Eww…Kao kissie" came the little children's response. The couple backed up startled. Blushing furiously.

After some few minutes the rain stopped and the large group of people walked to church. Battousai found himself stolen from Kaoru by a bunch of little girls who simply adore him. He looked so cute when all of them wanted to hold his hand.

Kaoru giggled to herself, watching her boyfriend being sabotaged from the mini-girl group.

Yet they walked in peace, just enjoying the company they held.

The large church that was known mostly to the blacks in Japan, grew interested when they saw one of the ghetto boys ride up with a bunch of girls.

"Wassup dog?" one of Battousai's buds call.

"Nothing yo. Waddup?"

"Nothing like usual…"

The huge church was about 5 stories high (big church) with a huge cross to the top. The white paint on the church signified spirituality and cleanliness yet their were wooden structures of cherubs and Mary and archangels around the establishment. The group entered the establishment meeting a huge congregation. In front of them was a huge cross of Jesus Christ on the wall, whilst stain glass of Mary and Joseph adorn the windows. The church was somewhat decorated around the stage area, but the reservations were slim. Kenshin looked about for chairs, spotting a few up front he notified the others. The group made their way to the top seating themselves comfortably. Then organs (the church piano thingee) began playing, and from the back of the stage the priest made his way to the top.

"Good morning. Please let us all get ready to pray to Jesus Christ, the father, the son and the Holy Spirit" everyone stood. Clasping their hands Battousai found himself teaching the little girls what to do.

"Heavenly father we ask oh mighty savior for you to wash away our sins. For the things we have done and so urgently engrossed ourselves in, forgive us father. Father we are all sinners, baked in sin with nothing but unrighteousness to offer. We find ourselves father fighting the fears inside, when really we don't have any. Father today in the crowd of sinners, help me father to instill in these people that you are the light and way. That it was you father who died on the cross to save us from our sins. It was your precious blood that washed away our sins and gave us right to breathe with free will. Help this insane society father, mend us from our wounds and give us sight where we are blind. In Jesus name I pray, a-men." He prayed strongly.

"Amen" the congregation whispered.

"You may sit" the preacher said.

"How many of us believes in God, raise your hand?" asked the preacher…

Nearly everyone raised their hand. The priest smiled, his eyes fell over the little ones who rose both their hands. Such innocence, but then his eyes settled on Battousai.

"And you my son, in the first lane with the red hair, why don't you believe in God?"

"A God is a supreme entity. The Devil is considered a supreme entity, I do believe in Christ correct, but I do not believe in supreme entities as the devil. Your question asked us if we believed in God. The Devil is a God. It is for you to be specific sir" Battousai corrected.

"Ahh…smart boy. You're absolutely correct. True how could anyone know what I was taking about? What school do you go to?" the priest asked

"Kyoto Prestigious College for Boys" he answered,

"Ahh, I see. Is that you girlfriend to the side of you" knowing Kaoru's face far too well.

"Yes…she is" he held onto her hand.

Kaoru blushed. 'Aww…he's really too sweet'

"And do you love her?" he asked curiously

He turned to look at Kaoru, smirking he nodded. "Yup"

"Do you know why you love her?" he asked

"Because she's different…she feels something which most girls can't feel. I want to save her…because I know I can and no one can't" he spoke

"Hmm…interesting reply"

For an hour church went along as interactive as it was. It was rather enjoyable. Battousai however came out of church a few minutes before. Kaoru followed him after some two minutes. He was sitting against the wall looking at the streets. Kaoru caught the look in his eyes…

'And do we all fight battles we wish we could never fight?'

"Battousai" she called…

He turned to her, a face of classic coldness meeting her. He looked so royal as his amber eyes were as bright as the prominence from the sun, and his hair was already collecting petals from the Sakura trees. She made her way to him, it was so confusing to explain why she felt sorrow for him, but she did and that's why she ran into his arms. He held unto her.

"Are you hurting?" she pulled back looking into his eyes…

"Not today…" his nose touched hers…

"You're a bad liar"

"I know…"

"Heehehhe" she hugged him…

'Couldn't I always be this safe? Happiness is truly bliss, but this nirvana doesn't last forever…'

Battousai closed his eyes, searching for truth. Truth was there but it was buried deeply.

'Wherever it is…it's there…'

* * *

That afternoon…

Battousai and Kaoru went looking around for Kaoru's new little house. With all the work she had been doing she was finally able to buy herself a small house. Very small. Kaoru watched the picture of the house and then the real house. It was very small but it would do. Kaoru took out her keys from her pocket. Opening the door she was revealed to a wooden finishes. The pale lemon walls were very enticing. Kaoru ran through the house looking for her bedroom. Screaming out Battousai came to her aid.

"What?"

"Look at this room, it's so cute"

'That's what she called me for?' Goodie

She jumped on the bed.

She twirled around in circles, "it's comfory…and it's made for…" she bit her lips, "made for two"

"Oh really?" he saw the naughtiness in her eyes…

"Yup…you can test my hypothesis if you want" she winked at him.

'Okay this girl is a devil'

He walked over to bed, sitting down on the bed, he nodded. "Yeh two people can sleep on this bed" he said modestly.

Kaoru pulled him back so he was lying on the bed with her.

"Kaoru" he panicked seeing a lot of sparks in her eyes…

"Yes" she rolled over on him.

"W-What are you doing?" he asked worriedly…

"Nothing" she smiled sweetly at him.

She nestled her head in his neck just looking around her room. He sighed in relief. Smoothening her hair, she closed her eyes enjoying the feel of his hand down her hair. Kenshin traced his hand to the small of her back, catching the time on his watch he nearly freaked out. (**this**** was not sexual or explicit)**

"Kao-baby…" he endeared…

"Hmm koishii?" she answered, her eyes still shut…

"I have to be going…I'll pass by tonight…" he spoke shallowly…

"Promise…?" she asked

"Yes maim" he promised

"Okay then" she slowly came off the man sitting to the side of him. Battousai sat up looking into her eyes, kissing her on the lips he encouraged her to and harder. She learned but before she could try her stunts he pulled apart from her.

"Tonight…" he bade…

"Bye…" she waved.

Battousai walked out her home with his hands in his pocket. 'Why can't I ever live a normal life? But say what I was raised by the streets.' It was funny where he hang and made his class. He was an educated fool with money and proficiency on his mind. Kenshin placed on his earrings on his ear. Walking a few blocks again, he meet his crew in the park. A bunch of smoking men circled together under a tree waiting for him he guessed. Battousai walked to the group knowing what was going on.

'And everyone wants to trip me…'

He stood a distance from the men…

"You gotta lot of guts showing your face dog" the supposedly leader swore at Battousai.

Battousai turned his face… 'I'm not in the mood for this crap'

"Yo yo yo, miboy are you getting disrespectful on me? Don't forget who has your butt out of jail murderer. You gotta do what I say or your butt is in jail cell"

"Yeah I remember…but what you tripping on me for yo?" Battousai asked indignantly...

"Don't give me that f-ing attitude kid. I don't want to dangle with you so don't be playing with me. What's this shit nonsense about you attacking Yukishiro?" the man took a pull from his cigar

"Jerk was getting on my nerves so I choked him…" Battousai answered.

"And you proud of that? My brother Enishi is the one who gives me my sales, gives me my money. If you kill my best affiliate trust me I will kill you…"

Battousai's eyes shone donating only fire of hate.

"Don't gimme that stare yo…" he walked to Battousai.

Battousai just stared at him.

"Listen Battousai as much as you don't like me, trust me I don't like you…so don't play with this brother or your neck is my prize…"

Battousai didn't respond.

The man sent his hands across the boy's face, "you got that my fo shizzle dizzle?"

He still didn't respond.

Cuffing him three-four times, Battousai still didn't fall or shake his head.

Battousai was in blood.

Turning his back on his leader and the group, he felt pissed.

"WANNABE-GHETTO BOY" the leader shouted.

"Burn you" Battousai whispered.

'So much we hurt and so much time is needed to heal such wounds. So little happiness from such pain…'

Kenshin walked down the streets of the late night. Walking to a chair, he sat plump on it. Sighing to himself he just looked at the stars. Bored and pissed together. 'I should probably be going now. Kaoru's probably expecting me…'

Kenshin never went to Kaoru that night. He was pissed and angry. Finding himself in bar, he ordered a drink over the counter.

"One martini, dry please" Battousai placed his head against the counter somewhat tired.

Living in the hood but being beaten from it was sick. Battousai had a serious murder-file. He was currently trying to clean off his name. He wanted to finish university, buy himself a house in Tokyo and get married. He really never thought of the girl he'd get married to. He never had a liking for girls who were too haughty looking, he just wanted girls who had a great personality and were truthful to him. He didn't want all the stars, because he believed those people themselves were either rare, dead or old. When he applied himself as Kaoru's boyfriend, he had manage to bisect himself from the cold and antisocial Battousai. He actually was forward because he had known her and because of another reason. A reason he still hadn't found.

"Here you are laddie, enjoy" the man handed Battousai the martini. Across from him were several young girls erotically dancing on a stage with a pole down the center. He certainly didn't want a dirty girl…and that's all he should keep in mind too.

Drinking the beverage in one shot, a woman joined him to the side.

"Night drinker?" she asked

He nodded.

"Name's Tomoe…" she smiled cutely…

"Battousai…"

"Lonely tonight?" she bit her lips

It was the last thing he wanted to hear. Handing the bartender his change and a tip he left the bar leaving the Tomoe woman to her own questions. Kenshin walked down the streets, his hand in his pocket…

'A night as lone as the character I am…'

The night was young, lone and masqueraded in darkness. Battousai sighed.

Walking home, he looked at the stars, wishing that not all of them would fade on him as the ones he loved did.

* * *

Kaoru walked to her school pissed her "supposedly" boyfriend had not come to see her yesterday. 'I'll deal with his ass trust me'

Brushing her shoulder past some rogues she made her way up the stairs for her first class, "Physics"

She hated Physics pretty-much but she had to study it nevertheless.

It was her worst subject really, it was a wonder how she manage to get half mark during end of term exams.

Kaoru entered her class walking pass all the lanes of students. As usual this missy was chewing in Physics class.

"Ms. Kamiya why do I always have to tell you no chewing in my class" the teacher asked, his eyes looking at her somewhat confused.

"I dunno, maybe it's because you like to talk?!" she asked him…

"Ms. Kamiya don't get smart with me"

"What the heck am I doing?" she rapped

"Missy watch that language…"

"What language?" she shouted back

"That's it Miss Kamiya, I am sick and fedup of your behavior literally. You must be the worst student I have taught…if you have nothing to say then don't say anything at all" he queried with her…

'Son of punk'

She really got pissed when teachers pushed her around.

She kept quiet throughout his period mainly because she didn't understand anything he thought.

When the bell rung she exited the room heading in for her second class. 'English---how wowie!'

It wasn't Kaoru's best subject but she did well in it nevertheless. Sitting down in the front seat, because that's where the teacher wanted her, she sighed. "Good morning students…"

"Good morning Sensei"

"This morning I would like someone to translate our country's National Anthem Kimigayo in English. Whose wants to go first?" the teacher asked. Kaoru bit her pencil waiting for somebody to go first.

Misao raised her hand, 'oh goodie does she always have to be so goddamn perfect, well I guess so'

"Go ahead Ms. Machimache"

"Um okay..um…ten thousand years of happy reign be thine, rule on, my god, till what rocks are now, bye time united to might pebbles shall reap, whose um something, sides the moss doth line??"

"Well that was half wrong and half correct…but that was a good try, whose next, ah Ms. Takani"

"Gomen ne sensei, but I have soar-throat." She explained

"Very well. Ms. Kamiya"

"Ms. Kamiya" Kaoru looked up…

"Yes?"

"Translate it please…"

"But I'm not good at English"

"Just try please"

"Whatever… ten thousand years of happy reign be thine, rule on, my lord, till what are pebbles now, by ages united to mighty rocks shall grow, whose venerable sides the moss doth line." She finished

"Excellent Ms. Kamiya. You know your English I see…"

Kaoru just looked at the floor.

The period ended after a few minutes. In the auditorium the students were told to assemble. Kaoru walked to seat in the back row not sure what was happening. Students hurriedly took seats just awaiting this new surprise. Kaoru was by herself until a few boys began looking for seats, seeing the very pretty sapphire eye girl they made way to her. Sitting next to her was Kenshin. Kaoru frowned.

"Hey baby" he grinned

"Go to hell will you?"

--

--

--


	5. LyInG5

**Lying from you.**

Fhb…

R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.

Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.

* * *

"Good morning students, today we will be giving out the awards to the best students of the last grade"

"Coming first this term in the Japanese language is Kayci Anagi from class 12.1 with a score of 2700 out of 3000"

All the students clapped waiting for Kayci to walk to the stage. The girl had died her hair blonde and her eyes were blue-green. She walked to the stage collecting her award and smiling brightly. Everyone clapped again.

"Congratulations. Coming second place in the English courses is Nicky Etiziki from class 12.3 with a score of 2500"

The brown head girl went to the stage collecting her silver award. She smiled then she went back to her seat.

"In third place is Mayo Sinead from class 12.2 with a score of 2498" the girl humbly went for her award smiling beautifully at all.

"Coming in first place in the Science curriculum is Shinamori Aoshi from 12. 2 with a score of 2900 out of 3300"

The girls went wild for Aoshi. He collected the award humbly showing it off at his friends.

"Congrats, coming in second place is Kamiya Kaoru from 12.7 with a score of 2897"

Kaoru got up walking to the stage. People clapped but not as forceful as the others. She weakly smile when she received the trophy.

"In third place we have Seta Soujiro from 12.7 with a score of 2800" the smiling boy got the second hardest applaud after Aoshi. He took the award graciously smiling wonderfully at the crowd.

"Coming in first place in Mathematics was Shinamori Aoshi again with a score of 2900/3000" Aoshi collected his second award…smiling happily.

"Coming in second place is a tie from students Seta Soujiro and Katsu Ringe with a score of 2899" both boys came onto the stage.

"In third place is Kamiya Kaoru with a score of 2800" Kaoru proceeded to the stage collecting her second award.

"Coming in first place in Social studies was Misao Machimache from class 12. 7 with a score of whooping 2998 out of 3000" everyone applauded. Misao went forth for her award, blushing and crying.

"Coming in second place is Tae Sekihara from class 12.4 with a score of 2500" the girl approach the stage humbly. She collected her award with faint blushes.

"Coming in third place is Takani Megumi from class 12.7 with a score of 2200" everyone screamed out for her.

"Coming in first place in Arts is Sagara Sanosuke with a score of 2990 out of 3000" the tall model boy walked to the stage making a lot of the girls scream.

'Couldn't they just shut their mouths?' thought Kaoru.

Sano took his award proudly. 'What a vain dork'

"In second place is Himura Kenshin from class 12. 5 with a score of 2980" the boy pass Kaoru going to claim his award. The girls simply went wild. Kaoru felt like hurling.

"In third place is Tracy Katana from class 12.3 with a score of 2762" she approached to have her award.

"In first place in Health and Physical Education hence Kendo is Himura Kenshin with a score of full marks, full 3000" Kenshin ran to the stage being given a gold award.

"In second place is Aoshi Shinamori with a score of 2987" the boy went the stage to claim his award

"In third place is a tie, Sanosuke Sagara, Soujiro Seto and Kamiya Kaoru" the three went for their award.

"Coming in first place in Female Domestic Arts is Megumi Takani with a score of 4890 out of 6000"

"In second place is Tae Sekihara with a score of 3811"

"In third place is Misao Machimache with a score of 2165"

Everyone was given their awards and applauded.

"Coming first in class 12. 1 is Kayci Anagi"

"Coming first in class 12. 2 is Aoshi Shinamori"

"Coming first in class 12. 3 is Joshu Miles"

"Coming first in class 12. 4 is Tae Sekihara"

"Coming first in class 12. 5 is Lei-fang Lee"

"Coming first in class 12. 6 is Akane Smiths"

"Coming first in class 12. 7 is Kaoru Kamiya" the students made their way to the stage. They collected their awards taking many photos with the teachers.

Kaoru went home early that day; she didn't want any more pictures. She was the most disrespectful girl some teachers had ever known but it wasn't her fault she was going through stress. She was going to fail Physics for SAT's mainly because she didn't understand Physics. She wanted so badly to go to Tokyo Metropolitan Un. but failing only would increase her chances of attending Kyoto University.

Kaoru sighed. Battousai had been no where around adding to her pains…

* * *

Battousai was walking home from school minding his own business thinking of what he'd tell his girlfriend. As he kept walking Enishi and his crew lay by the wall. Battousai had no business with "ladies" so he just went his way.

"Himura boy…we need to talk" Enishi's group encircled the red head.

"About?"

"About how you're treating this brother"

Battousai turned to Enishi.

"You deserved it" came Battousai's icy reply…

"Moron"

"Look I don't want to fight you" came his reply…

"Oh? Hahaah!" Enishi hit Battousai, "hit me…"

Battousai stood stagnantly.

"I said to hit me" he cuffed Battousai making sure the man would attack him. Battousai just lightly growled.

"HIT ME" he lashed Battousai again…

'They want to see me evoke a devil…'

"I SAID TO GODDAMN HIT ME" he cuffed Battousai across the face. Battousai didn't keep his cool. He returned the blow then he sent the boy straight into a tree with a powerful spin-kick.

"I hit you punk…now get up and hit me" Battousai voiced icily.

Enishi couldn't move, he was just too hurt to stand.

Battousai wanted no more of this. He was officially in trouble from the hood now. Soon the ghetto would come looking for him…it was just a matter of time. Kenshin went to Kaoru's home that night, he just checked on her, she was sleeping in her room. Her blanket was off her shoulders. She was so beautiful, like a sleeping angel classic in the heavens. Her smooth porcelain skin invited him to touch her. It was late he knew that, but she made time stop and he just found himself staring at this angel. Soft mounds of raven hair fell in her face, covering her face. Walking slowly to her, he sat quietly on the bed. Moving the hair from her face, he saw the face of peace and harmony. Her angelic face radiated so much innocence and beauty, such a odd one…but he was enticed by it nevertheless.

Touching her cheek slowly…he felt how soft it was. 'At least you sleep without burdens…my dearest'

Withdrawing, he covered her, making sure to leave with a kiss on her cheek.

'Sleep well my darling'

The next day rose from blackness to grey. Rain had arrived again. Kenshin was walking through the streets, a bit pissed he wasn't attending school today. So much had went through his head that night. 'I'm not even protecting Kaoru. They'll come looking for her…I should stay with her.'

Battousai had never felt so confused or burdened. He was lost on where to run and who to run to. Could he run into Kaoru's arms or would she be another star that faded on him? He didn't know. For everything he wanted perfect he found it came with some cost of belief, and belief in him was thin. He had given up in morals and spirituality…the only thing left for him was lies and hollow emptiness, which he himself was.

Shrouded in everything negative he caved refuge only in images of peace. Such pictures of peace were slowly dying…before they did, he would ask salvation one last time to hold him. Battousai ran through the streets, the rain drenching him through and through. Splashing another puddle he could see the church around a corner. There above him was his only option of living and not to mention moral sanity.

He felt the devil caving in, angels of death singing to him, and before he'd know it, it was time to die.

Battousai wouldn't allow that to happen as long as he had breath and a promise to fulfill to Kaoru. Pushing the doors he ran to the statue of Jesus Christ.

'I feel the devil caving in on me. I feel everything that I've work for slipping from my fingers. Providence, if you do exist endow me now…'

Falling weak and destroyed to his knees, he crawled to the statue allowing all his fears to consume him.

'You will always be my angel…and one day…we'll meet again…mommy swears' the heart-rate monitor suddenly went into a clean line…

_'Hiten Mitsurugi is something that comes with pain…' the tall muscular man quoted, 'it comes with tears, sweat, and blood'_

_'For a child as young as yourself, you shouldn't be buried in silly triviality. I was a teen once you know, just grow up…'_

_'I wanted to tell you something…I hated you…I hate you Battousai Himura…'_

_'Why can't you ever do anything right?'_

_'Crying doesn't get you far stupid child' shouted his stepmother_

_'Remember koishii, mommy wants you to believe even when you are in darkness. You may walk a lonely road, so far from home, but the sun will still shine down on you, and stars will still twinkle down on you, and if you believe in someone special and they fail you, so will that star. Believe my son…believe even when hope seems blown away from you. Believe and you shall find your way…promise' she smiled…_

Kenshin bowed before the statue feeling weak. His mother's death was perhaps the most impacting, 'and you said to call and you shall come…I need help God…so help me…' he looked at the statue in pain.

* * *

Kaoru was walking home from school that day, a bit bored out her mind. She hadn't seen her boyfriend in a while. Today she was going to visit the ghetto. Her only family. As she was walking home she stopped off in a candy store, buying some "junk-food" as stated by parents. A couple of chocolates, a card of lickerish, packs of m&m's and so forth. Paying for the stuff, she saw the price.

"14 yen?" Kaoru took out a bunch of dollars and began counting…

"Now you're counting your money?" the clerk asked

"Th-yeah"

She rolled her eyes, "loser" she whispered.

Kaoru pulled the girl's collar bringing her in, "what did you just call me dog?" she paused, "do I look like your friend, no I'm not. Don't punk with me ding-dong" she roughly threw back the girl.

Dropping the cash down she shoved her snacks in her bag and left.

"Sayonara sucker"

Kaoru coolly ambled down the street, she came closer and closer to the ghetto and she felt more excited about it. A few minutes of walking soundlessly to her destination, she was there. In the yard children were playing. The small children looked up when they saw Kaoru.

"Kaoru-chan" they shouted out.

Kaoru's heart sighed happily. 'Oh I missed them so much'

She ran into the yard hugging each of the small ones. She spun a few of them around in circles just enjoying how it felt to be as good old times with them.

Kaoru sniffed a bit, 'yeah I'm a sucker I know that, but ahh, what the heck'

"I have a surprise for you chibi-samas" she said knowing fully what she called them

"What urpise? (surprise)" asked a little girl

"Choc-co-late" she said wickedly

"YUMM"

Kaoru stooped whilst opening her back-pack. Taking out the chocolates and sweets she handed them each one.

"No fighting please" and with that she ran inside to find her nana.

"Nana…oye nana" she looked in the kitchen her nana's favourite place.

"Nan-AHHHH" she was smacked on the butt by someone.

Whipping around she was met by her nana. "Nani, hi---that hurt you know" Kaoru pointed out.

"I know" the woman said… "so how are you baby?"

"Oh fine…"

"How's your man?"

"Nanna don't say man. It sounds so grown up, say how's your boyfriend…besides…I don't know where he is…" she trailed off

"You don't? Well you not treating him well?" the woman asked

"You are such a pervert. We haven't even did that nana."

"No wonder he left you"

'My nana is frank…a little too frank'

"Nana would you stop already. It's for a next reason I'll have you know"

"Oh?"

"Yeah…"

"Like?"

"Well I dunno why he left me…perhaps he needs air…I know I needed" Kaoru confessed.

"So what you came here for sport?"

"Oh to give you the money for the rent…I know I don't live with you anymore, but I wanted you to still have it because it's a lot of kids you provide for." Kaoru whispered

"Ah, so I see my Kaoru-chan is getting soft, well don't my darling." The woman said defiantly.

"Nana, that is besides the point, just take the money…"

"Kaoru-chan" she began protesting

"Please"

The woman nodded.

"Well I just came to say hi nana, and that I love you for everything you did for me…thanks so much—nana" she weakly smiled…a few tears in her eyes

"Oh Kaoru-chan" she hugged the girl… "you were always a sucker for tender moments"

"Nanaaa" Kaoru whined.

"Oh I'm just kidding…" the woman spoke

"I know…"

"Lets go outside sport…" the woman spoke…

"Kay…"

Both ladies proceeded outside seeing the tots messed up with chocolate.

"Uh-oh"

"Kaoru-chan, honey I don't want to quarrel with you, but did you give them chocolate? As a result they're so nasty?" she asked

"Um…no?" Kaoru tip-toed out the yard…

"Kaoru-channnn" Kaoru laughed running away from the ghetto. She did what she had to do.

* * *

The next day Kaoru waited patiently for time to waste. She didn't pay attention much in class, it wasn't like they had class, they only had SAT's lectures from their teachers. Then they got little talks from representatives of different companies. Kaoru had assigned for three universities. Tokyo Metropolitan Un. Tokyo Un. and Kyoto Un. She was brilliant but she was suffering as a result.

Kaoru waited for 2.30pm, it was the only day she didn't have classes. She was so happy. Most of her classes were halting anyways. Running home because one she was hungry she realized she was going to miss High school. 'Hang on did I say I was going to miss High school? Oh no---I just didn't admit that…oh kami I did, didn't I?'

Opening her house she dropped her bag on the floor and shut the door. Running to the back she placed on her shower. Taking off her shirt she flung it on the floor, 'how I long to pelt my stinky clothes on my own floor. Mwhahaha'

Going to her cd player she searched for disc two. It was her favourite cd in the world. Linkin Park. Placing it on track 4 she began jumping up and down to the tune. Lying from you.

She began singing, "when I pretend everything is what I want it to be I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see. When I pretend I can forget about the criminal I am stealing second after second 'cause I know I can/but I can't pretend this is the way it will stay/I'm just trying to bend the truth I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be so I'm lying my way from you…" she screamed proceeding to the chorus.

If it was one group she literally praised it was Linkin Park. Then came Korn. There was something about the groups she loved. Nobody had what they had. Linkin Park was extremely deep and Korn worked with her jaded emotions well. They were both a somewhat violent, but then behind every silent man is a violent storm. Kaoru took off her skirt pelting it to the floor. She could basically walk up and down her house naked but she had some pride about her. Going to the kitchen she made herself a sandwich with a glass of milk. Leaving it on the counter she went to have her bath. Stripping herself naked, she entered her bath with loud music banging. Silently and unnoticed, the front door opened…

Kaoru washed her hair, loving the smell of Herbal Essence in her hair. Her long raven hair was wet and greedily sticking to her skin. Kaoru bathed happily taking her time to shave her legs and armpits. (Am I being too forward now?)

Kaoru passed her lotus flower against her skin just letting the droplets roll down her somewhat rippled stomach. Kaoru bathed for a flat twenty minutes really relaxing herself whilst she could.

Feeling it was time to come out, she placed a towel around her then in her hair. Walking to her room she pass her 'opened' door, 'my door was closed…' she'd close it just now. Going to her room she changed off in her laundry. Walking to the door she was shock to find who she found…

"Battousai" he was bleeding…

"Kaoru" he literally fell into her arms…

"Oh my gosh…oh my gosh" she collected the man frantically who she could tell had been wounded badly. Dragging him in her drawing room she lay him down on the floor.

"Honey…what happened?" she tried being more kind than angry with him…

"Be-beaten" he whispered.

Her eyes set up in tears… 'why god, why?'

Kaoru began pulling off his clothes ready to treat anything that came in her way. He held her hand. She looked at his hands… there was a warning in his eyes. She pushed it aside nevertheless. Ripping the shirt she screamed at what she saw. "Noo Battousai…NO—GODDAMN IT NOT" she bawled at what she saw, she backed up her hands in blood as she frantically screamed and cried. Her soul was enflame in pain…he was so hurt. He slowly blinked back allowing darkness to claim him, the last thing he wanted to die to was her screams…

"My angel…" his eyes were extremely light amber, she had never seen eyes like that. Then slowly he shut his eyes…

"Nooo" she ran to his side clutching him to her…

* * *

Battousai fluttered open his eyes to what seem to be a black room… 'is this hell?' he didn't know. Then before him was the most beautiful sight…an angel sleeping next to him. Her smooth porcelain face was free of sags and colour disorientation. Such a velvety beauty she was. Her raven hair an alive sea of black diamonds shone blue and purple distracting him wildly. His eyes then lost itself on her form, she was nestled like a baby in a mother (foetus/fetus). There on her heart was what seem to be the embrace of fingers over a bible. 'She had been praying for me…' Battousai felt moved. Pushing back a few tendrils he called to her softly…

"Kaoru…" he sweetly called…

She didn't respond.

"Kaoru" he called again this time with more force…

She slowly stirred to be awaken by him, her champion. He looked like a somewhat destroyed red warrior.

"You're awake koishii" she jumped into his arms

"Ouch…" she backed up…

"Oh sorry" she whispered…

"It's okay…" she lied next to him. "I missed you so much Kaoru…"

Kaoru felt guilt, she had thought Battousai forgotten her but he didn't. "I missed you too koishii" she wanted so badly to however kiss his lips. Touching his lips she tried remembering the feel of it. It was somewhat chap and crackled. Averting her eyes to his, she saw the look of all hope gone. Slowly she closed the distance allowing her lips to find its home with him. Battousai sighed against her lips, after so long a small measure of peace was given only in the arms of an angel. The two lovers were finally bounded safely in the next arms.

Battousai wanted her more though. He was patient…but he was fedup. Pushing away from her, Kaoru looked at him with eyes of confusion.

"I lose myself easily…" he placed a hand over hers…

Did she hear him right? Oh she didn't. Lying next to him she began asking softly, "what happened?" most important question of the day…

"I beat Enishi up, my hood would kill me for it, so I went to church when I came out of church they found me, beat the hell out of me and really got me thinking…" he paused seeing her looking at him in shock…

"Thinking?" she repeated

"I don't want their crap…" he ended…

"Good for you baby"

"I just want to be with you now…I don't wanna have to be distracted…the only thing I want to be distracted in…is your eyes…you" he whispered…

She smiled. "You're so sweet…"

"I know" he teased…

"Are you spoiling me or tricking me?" she asked

"You'll never know" he hinted his brows…

"You wicked bugger" she squealed…

"Oh yes I am" he laughed pushing his head against hers. Their heads were against each other whilst their eyes leer over the next features. He was so beautiful thought Kaoru. His handsome face, red hair, amber eyes, thick pink lips, somewhat shadow on the narrow of his eyes, his tan skin and one scar on the left cheek really said something. He burned to be beautiful.

Battousai never felt so alive, somehow this was the reward of finally being safe. 'Why do I feel so wrong yet so right?' Battousai never knew what bliss felt like. The only sort of happiness he knew was with his mother…and she shortly lived. Battousai blamed himself from young age loosing his first special someone. It was the first star that had died. Then came others whom he thought he knew and loved for the same matters. Lost in perpetual ambiguity he felt the lining around his body crumble some more. Everything he had solidly worked for was falsely built and before he knew it they all crumbled. The fact that he would constantly have to live in reveries of empathy. Nothing could heal such wounds, only time and hands of good. Right now his faith was in Kaoru, he hope she could mend what was broken within him. Heartstrings that were beginning to burst, he hope she could strengthen or even bind to knot within him a hope which was like a flame in the darkness.

Kenshin traced faint circles across her face just simply inhaling everything beautiful she wanted to be. Devils would always be on the side of her taunting and laughing crazily trying their best to break her. His eyes went into a deep hue, for something he could not see, for something he could not fight he promised he would not stand helpless just watching her pain even in silence.

"Battousai…" she started…

"Hmm" he touched her cheek soundlessly…

"Do you have another name or is that your real biological name?" she blushed.

He smirked, "I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that"

"Oh…well I thought it was kinna rude…so I delayed the grand question" she confessed with another blush.

"Well my name is really Shinta. I think it's kinna soft so I just changed my name…" he trailed off…

"Such a pretty name…who gave you that name?" she asked innocently.

"My mom…" he whispered his eyes saddening

"Oh…" Kaoru could sense the mood drop degrees in the room.

"It's okay… so where's yours?" he asked…

"Dead…gone" she said flatly…

"Oh I'm sorry…" he apologized…

"It's alright, I love her yeah but I never knew her…" she paused, "she died three years after I was born"

"Are you sure?" he asked knowingly.

Kaoru blinked back, "yes positively…"

He nodded.

"Can I confess something to you?" she asked meaningful and deeply into his eyes.

"Sure…"

"I didn't think you cared for me. Seriously when you didn't come back to me for those two days I guess I lost hope in you. I don't know why but I still think you are Kenshin…I should know you aren't" she paused looking into his eyes deeply.

"I'm sorry koishii…I should know you're the person who wants to be and protect me…I can not find a way to explain it, the emotions I suddenly feel from your loyalty. Hiding from what I feared I forgot to see you my dearest…" her eyes slowly watered…

"Shh…it's okay…I don't expect you to just care for me. In fact it's alright if you don't. The reason I became your boyfriend in the first place was to protect you…if you cared for me then that's great, but if you didn't I understand. I agree everything happened too quickly…but I guess it was all for a reason…" he murmured…

She nodded.

"So are you ready for SAT?" he asked softly

"Just about. I'm only afraid about Physics…" she said defeated-like.

"Why?"

"I hate it, I don't understand it…it's foreign to me…"

"Hah! Well Physics is pretty easy for me. Speaking of foreign I hate English. Now that's completely foreign to me" he admitted.

"I'm pretty good at that…"

"Hey how about we make a deal…" he asked

"Oh about?"

"If I teach you Physics maybe you can teach me English…"

"Sure that'd be great…"

"Awesome"

* * *

Days of endless rain had passed. Everyday was same ole thing, gloomy skies with pearly whites fall from the weeping heavens. Kaoru and Battousai had been studying Physics. He was teaching her intial and final velocities. Kaoru was pretty dumb in Physics, she didn't need anyone to tell her she knew far too well. Sighing at the question in her book she got distracted by the raindrops on her window. Battousai was explaining how they got their final answer when he suddenly averted his eyes to her.

"And that's how it works, understand" he asked

Kaoru blinked back, "oh yeh…f' course I do" she smiled beautifully fake.

"Really then explain what I was saying" he said lowly

Kaoru chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. 'Um…I knew I should have been playing attention. Phooey!!'

"I'm waiting" came his cold curt reply…

"Hehehehe…what goes up must come down?" she laughed unknowingly.

He sighed. "Kaoru…you really don't get Physics don't you?" he asked

She nodded her head, "I perhaps know a couple of laws and the S.I units and that's about it…" she confessed sadly.

"Do you want to learn Physics?" he asked

"Well yeh…that's the only I can enter one of the universities I applied for…" she bit her lips again…

"Okay. Well then I advise you to please try absorb what you're learning" she nodded.

Battousai tried again a different approach this time.

Taking one of her books he called it A, and the next book B. "Initial velocity is the starting velocity…okay most times its 0." He explained.

"Okay…I get that"

"Good, maximum or final velocity is the speed at the end. Kay?"

"Uh-huh"

"Okay so the question says…" and he went on reading the question. At first Kaoru didn't understand but then she remembered objects A & B. Contemplating for a few minutes she tried incorporating the rules into what the question asked for. She explained what she could to Battousai. He listened but she didn't quite have it. She was getting there but not 100 there.

For hours they sat on her bed just doing what seem to be first year work in Physics. She grasped quickly pinpointing what she could with formulas. Battousai blinked back when they had gone further than he expected for the day. He knew he had a hard time teaching, but what surprised him was the fact that Kaoru's will or determination to learn didn't suppress. She constantly wanted to be taught more and usually pushed him by pouting. It was plain madness he thought but he took what she offered.

It was the whistling of the kettle that halted the classes for the day. Kaoru ran to the kitchen ready to make her delicious tea. Opening the cupboard she found her teabags. Taking out the strawberry flavor one she so liked she dubbed it into the hot water. She waited for the tea to brew whilst she made lunch for her dearest and herself. Opening the fridge she stooped just looking over the isles of food. She had all kinds of stuff in there. From cheese which was as old as dinosaurs (maybe not that old, but old) to Tuna-egg salad that seem to turn a disgusting shade of mossy green. Kaoru moved some of her left over KFC till she found something appropriate to eat. All she found was vegetables. Taking the baby vegetables out she placed them into a bowl of water to be washed out. Then she boiled them on the stove. Throwing in some spices and peppers she just created herself a soup. Tasting it she had to admit she was getting the hang of cooking. Placing the food in bowls she placed them on a tray before carrying to her room. Battousai had somewhat dozed off. Kaoru giggled. He really look so cute. Placing the tray on the table to the side she went forward brushing past his head. Battousai as great liar as he was knew she'd do something crazy. Never would he expect her to do what she did.

"Wake up koishii" she whispered in his ear

Battousai restrained himself from shivering.

"I said…" "to wake up…koi-shii" she broke up his endeared name. Battousai felt so sensitive and reactive to her breathing on his ear.

Again he restrained himself.

"Please" she begged.

Again he refused to comply, but she did see the grin on his face. 'Naughty bugger'

Grasping his ear in a wrench, Battousai's eyes fluttered open, "now I have your attention" she smiled.

Backing up he looked at her startled.

"Yes I'm a bit naughty when I feel like it" she turned from him.

"Hungry? Well I hope you are coz I just made us some soup" she said flatly whilst raising up his bowl of soup.

"Since your hands and body are wounded, I guess I'll have to feed you" she spoke

He nodded. She collected some of the contents on the spoon then she blew on it. Pushing it to his lips they parted and in it went. Shinta could not be as happy as he was. He was a lucky man, but Battousai was luckier.

* * *

An: Oh man how wickedly wicked! Read and enjoy peeps! LINKIN PARK ROCKS!! ROCK ON LP! VOTE LP ALL THE THE WAY FOR THE VMA'S...!! WOHOOO!! GO LINKY IT'S YR B-DAY!!

ROCK ON!!


	6. No MoRe LyInG

**Lying from you.**

Fhb…

R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.

Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.

* * *

In a few days Shinta became better, he was walking but his binds were still around his chest. He and Kaoru usually had fun throughout the day since she didn't attend school. Don't get her wrong it wasn't because Kaoru was a delinquent, it was just school –well in school they didn't teach since SAT's was closing in on everyone. Kaoru did more studying on Physics and those moments she got off she'd teach Battousai English. He found it interesting, but a bit difficult with the 'th' and 'ph.' She agreed English was weird but then all languages were.

Inside her room the couple was learning the finishing-touch to Physics. Battousai watched as his girlfriend who was literally leaning against him did the problem he requested her to do. He kept gazing at her, his eyes falling up and down her. Kaoru sensed him staring and literally boring holes on her skin.

"Done…" she said cutely.

He looked at her sum, checking through her formula and how she applied it to the problem he took the honor to tell her, "yep! you're absolutely correct…do question 28" he whispered in her ear.

Kaoru nodded. Battousai then began leaning into her, pulling at her hands. Kaoru smirked but she didn't stop him, searching for question 28 she realized there was no question 28.

"There's no question 28" she said flatly…

"I know" he kissed the hand…

The next day Shinta and Kaoru began learning about friction, the last topic Shinta wanted to cover. It was the easiest topic but he did it last nevertheless.

"You know what's friction right?" he asked

"Nope" she lied…

"It's when two things rub against each other causing wear-and-tear…" he explained…

"Can you give me an example…" she asked innocently.

--

--

He placed a hand on her cheek, cupping it carefully.

She held onto his hand, "tell me koishii…what I want to hear…" she was breaking. 'See I break down for the easiest things'

"That your brother…didn't tell me" she whispered painfully.

Battousai knotted his brows, 'I guess you're still sensitive. I guess you may never look at me for me…but that's something I can surely try to change'

Leaning his head against hers, he looked beyond the sapphire hold, beyond the tomboy front, beyond the girlish implore----he saw the beating heart of the woman she wanted to be. The little miss originality.

"I…" he started… "love you…I love you Kaoru…" he trust his lips against hers…

'You are everything I want. Everything I could ever ask for. Thank you for this man lord

(Rings)

The couple pulled apart. 'Ahh that stupid door'

Battousai pulled back, "I'm coming back koishii…" he jumped off the bed. She nodded by flinging a pillow in his head…

"I'll get you…" he warned…

She stuck out her tongue, "pheesh-you wish…"

He smirked. Exiting "their" room he walked to the door. Opening the door he was shock to see who he did…

"A little birdie told me my girl was here" barked the silver-blonde boy.

"Enishi" Battousai snapped his voice like artic winds and lifeless spunk.

"I want her Battousai…" Enishi rapped aggressively…

"Iie…"

"Look man…I don't think you're getting me. That's my girl…my girl whose sinned by me…"

"What?" Battousai asked confused…

"Didn't she tell you what she did?" a cruel menacing grin on Enishi's face…

"What the hell are you talking about?" Battousai fisted his fist in Enishi's shirt.

"Your supposedly little girl is a big-time whore…" Enishi spat…

Battousai slammed his knuckles into the man's face… "NEVER say that" he shouted…

Kaoru heard Battousai shout. Running to him as she was, she ran behind him ready to scare him. A grin on her face. But then she saw him…

"Ahh…my darling, always exquisite to see you so beautiful…" he winked at her.

Battousai pushed away Enishi shutting the door loudly.

Turning around he looked at Kaoru with anger in his eyes…

"You were a whore for Enishi?"

Kaoru shook her head whilst backing up…

"Weren't you?" he hissed through his gritted teeth…

She couldn't answer…

"ANSWER ME" he shouted…

She ran from him to her room, Battousai followed her with steps of anger in each step. Slamming the door behind him he looked at the crying woman on the bed…

"Tell me everything right now" he gritted his teeth.

"What's there to explain?!" she screamed back, tears running down her face.

"Tell me how you knew Enishi…tell me the reasons behind these" he touched her tears…

She looked into his eyes…

"I didn't want you to know…" she started

He looked at her strangely… as if he couldn't believe she hid this.

"I didn't want you to know…what happened. What I felt…what I did" she looked into his eyes seeing a silver sheen over his amber eyes.

"Enishi…was my first boyfriend…" she started…

"He said he loved me and just couldn't live without me. As we started dating things starting progressing. He was a really meek guy at first, then—we kissed a few nights later; I guess we jumped the gun. As the days progressed I discovered he was becoming rasher and demanding of me. I myself was so innocent of the situation I allowed him because I never felt love before and I actually thought it was suppose to go that way. Then he started becoming more intense--usually to impress his friends. Then one night, --he and his boys…they ganged up on me…and I was---abused" She paused just to cry. The incident was so fresh in her head…

Battousai gritted his teeth…

"I was devastated that I began taking two sets of pills… anti-depressant pills and birth-control pills. It was the only way. Things didn't get better for me, they just got worst. I was suffering so bad, from studies and from my lost sanity" she whimpered…

"And?" came Battousai's voice

"I decided one day not to be myself. It was that day that I actually thought fitting in was the best thing to do. Man was I wrong. Megumi Takani, dared me to tell your bro I liked him…it wasn't for the best either…" Kaoru confessed…

"What happened?" he dared to know…

"I told him that afternoon by your school with Megumi's gang watching on. But something strange I realized, why was he by your school when he attends mine. I know your school-boys proudly hated ours…but I kicked the thought aside. A foolish thing to do. I confessed to him…he smiled. I felt like crying when he said he liked me too. I couldn't believe it. I thought I found happiness again…but I was wrong. I agree Kenshin was more of a listener, he was quiet, he was understanding and very sweet. By then at times I'd realize things…one of those things was that every time I phoned him, I'd hear voices of a woman in the background. I didn't interrogate him about it…coz seriously that's not my biz. Then on our odd dates Kenshin started kissing me…and treating me like a Barbie. After getting me drunk he took me home and we made love…little did I know I was seen. The next day when I went to his school to check on him, I saw the same shit recorded on video playing in your school. When your school friends saw me…I had to run coz I was officially everything good and bad to your boys. I felt like crumbling…but before I could… I ran to his home, opened the door and went straight to the bedroom where I saw this—girl on him just making love with him…" she cried… "It hurt so bad…so I ran. Ran to school…crying in my supposedly best friend's arms…" Kaoru cried… "I took so many pills from anti-depressant, to pain killers, to pregnancy pills. My anti-depressant pills wouldn't work with pain-killers in my system but I forced myself. There was a side-effect however. More aggression. I began acting up in school, my aggression and witty nature finally surfaced and there was no way I could subside it. It didn't stop however…so I went on to smoking. Smoking seem to relieve just a bit of my stress…but even that didn't work. So I tried taking ---drugs. I injected myself with some small amounts of cocaine…but that subsided my pain so much. When I awoke from the somewhat unconscious state I usually trembled because remember I was still taking other pills with that. I tried smoking weed, but that only made me wheeze. So I finally got myself some morphine and it worked, but I was very laid back and weak when I took it." She got up from the bed. Opening the draw to the side of her she pulled out all her pills and drugs.

"This is not a lie" she cried sadly…

Battousai shut his eyes…

"Why did you do it huh?" he asked…

"I don't know…it was just so harsh and nothing seem to be relieving anything" she cried covering her mouth whilst crying…

"Damn it. You were pumping your system with crap, as a result you became more frustrated, aggravated and not to mention depressed. Didn't you realize you were slowly killing yourself?" he shouted.

She could only cried.

"I guess not because here you are in the world, sad, torn and flicked. So what's the matter Kaoru… other people have it just as a bad as you or worse…so what's the matter the gravity of your problems asks for so much to numb you?" he shouted loudly…

She nodded… "I'm sorry"

"LIAR" he swore angrily, "you were hurting yourself purposely…and not to mention you could have stopped it coz you're no dummie…" he paused…

"I said I'm sorry Battousai"

"Are you?" he got off the bed whilst walking to her, pushing her against the wall she felt like crying so hard…

"Let me go please" she asked in a small voice…

"No…"

"Please…" she cried…

"I SAID, NO"

"W-why?" she wailed…

"Because my pretty-dolly…I am not done teaching you a listen" he cursed…

She closed her eyes…

"I never imagined dating dirty girls Kaoru. If it was the last thing I wanted to do was date a dirty girl. I'm a real clean guy you know, maybe yeah I don't really show it, but you got cheeky with more than one guy. What can you say about yourself now?" he let her go gruffly…

Kaoru slid down the wall destroyed. "You…don't want me…don't you?" she whispered…

"Should I want you now?" came his infuriated reply…

"No…"

"Why Kaoru…why are you so filthy…I thought you were so preserved…so clean…" he whispered…

"And would you wish me like that?" she asked…

"Yes…"

"What's so wrong with the way I am?" she cried…

"Everything. I no longer see you the way I do in my eyes."

"And what do you see me in me?…"

He turned around looking into her eyes, "honestly a filthy-suicidal-bitch"

Kaoru cried…looking out her window she just seem to let herself float in hurt…

"Not everybody in this world Battousai are angels…"

"You damn right. A shame those angels died along with those stars…" he whispered…

"Angels don't die," she whispered lying on the floor defeated sadly.

"Oh and how would you know?" he growled

"My daddy was one…and so was my mommy. They're my angels…what makes you think they fade like stars? True people we love fade like stars, but angels never do…" she whispered whilst closing her eyes…

Stooping to the floor he looked at her.

"You can leave me if you like Battousai" she whispered her eyes still shut…

"I should? Shouldn't I?" he asked…

"Yup…I mean, I'm no angel…I'm just a human. And if you think you're too good to love a human then go ahead, there's the door" she pointed out.

He looked at her differently. "Is that all you hide from me Kaoru?"

"Yup…that's the hollow life I've being lying from everyone…lying from you…" she opened her eyes to his…

"I guess you had a reason to…"

"No one would care even if I explained it to them…"

"What about your Misao friend?"

Kaoru frowned, "she's not my friend anymore. She moved on to the cheerleader squad with that Megumi…so you see I'm kinna lone and empty…" she stared into his beautiful face…

"Good bye Kaoru" he stood up…

So mechanically nothing seems to die, echoes pain at me…cloudlessly…

"No…please" she pulled his hand back…

His heart was breaking, but he knew what he had to do.

"I don't need you and you don't need me" he said…

She stood up, "that's a lie…you need me…you promised me you'd protect me…you said you loved me" she cried turning him around to her…

"Protect you? PROTECT YOU FROM YOURSELF? How can I? HENCE HOW IN GODS AM I TO LOVE A DIRTY-THANG?" he question…

Kaoru's face became flush from anger, slapping him solid across the face she gritted her teeth spitting angrily, "listen asshole…I am no dirty-thang…so NEVER, say that to me ever again…" she warned him…

"Who the hell do you think you're slapping?" he held her down.

Kaoru fought him this time… "let me go idiot…"

"Don't you want me to do this?" he shouted back while they both fell on the bed. Still fighting, Battousai pushed her back in a choking pose…

"Go ahead…kill me" she said silently…

Placing her both hands behind her head firmly, he sank into her whispering vehemently cold in her face, "you and me we have this religion. Soon you'll see what I did, you are everything I am---- how can I look at my mistakes beaming through and through? So obviously I can't take that…"

"But I am not you…and you are not me. As you see, you hate me…I love you…" she whispered…"

"You're still what you are…"

She tried pushing him off of her.

"This my decline Battousai, all alone inside my hollow heart I'm trapped inside for all time. For all I asked was for you to love me, but even that this world have forgotten to do" she screamed, tears falling uncontrollably. Her face was so red and brimmed in hurt.

Pushing his lips against hers, her eyes went large. 'I know I hurt you…but I finally understand you'

Closing his eyes, he felt how tense she was under him. Kaoru didn't imagine this…feeling her anger against her skin, she tried pushing him off, but he would only deepen the kiss, sucking her down in the bliss bit by bit. A place no one would ever know, ---a place she never expected to find, a place in his heart…

* * *

Kaoru wrote SAT's two weeks after, she thought she did the exam pretty well but she'd know soon. Battousai finally was heading into Tokyo Metropolitan Un. He decided since he wanted extra-classes in higher secondary education, he should finish the higher form of High-school and wait for his darling to join him. Kaoru and Battousai had officially became a couple after that day, they went to school in peace, had time for each other and basically was everything the next could ask for. It had been two months since Kaoru wrote SAT, she had a lot of free time to do odd jobs like modeling, singing and so forth. Battousai on the other hand had just bought himself a car. A nice Q45. Though the series was sorta old Battousai took pride in his accomplishment. …

It was Saturday. One of the most active days in the week besides for Friday of course. Kaoru was bathing whilst Battousai was watching T.V. Kaoru giggled to herself. Getting out of her bath, she wiped up and decided for curiosity to take a little test. Outside Battousai had been watching through the news. He saw a lot of murders continued… 'but that shall soon end'

He took off the tv waiting for his baby. He realized she was taking longer than expected. Taking off his shirt he flung it to the floor knowing Kaoru didn't like it when he did that. He wanted to spark interest. Kaoru came out alright, but she was in a very short "pink" nightgown. A very silky one. Kaoru went to him passing his shirt on the floor. Sitting on his stomach she looked at him cutely.

"I need to tell you something…" she said

"Sure thing baby…"

"Do you love me?" she dropped the question…

"Of course I do…"

"Can you promise me something…" she began in a slow and timed voice.

"Yes…" he touched her cheek…

"Don't leave me…" her words were so pathetic and sad sounding…

Battousai backed up a bit shock that came out from the blooms. 'Are you hiding something?'

"I promise…"

"I-I'm" he looked at her lips… "pregnant" he looked at her lips in shock, _pregnant, pregnant, pregnant…_

The word constantly echoed in his ears.

'Am I dreaming or did she say she was…pregnant?'

"You're going to be a daddy Battousai…" she grinned happily…

'This is my decline, this is the call…this is it? Isn't it?'

"Koishii" she called another time…

The look in his eyes was remote and distance like a winter from a summer.

She backed off from him trying to make sense from the look in his hazed amber eyes.

"Y-you don't want the baby don't you?" she asked in disbelief, somehow she felt like she swallowed venom that was harder to swallow than reckon with.

"When did this happen?" he neutrally asked

"I tested myself today…three times and they each came back positive…" she lowly spoke…

"Kaoru…look this wasn't suppose to happen, ---- its not suppose to be this way…this is all wrong" he explained…

"Oh I get it…it's not if I get a fricking baby isn't it?" she screamed out rashly…

"I never said that…"

"You're goddamn implying it"

"Look Kaoru…everything happened too suddenly…and it ain't right…"

"I guess I should I have expected this…knowing you're a Himura and stuff" she went to her room in tears. Placing on some clothes she barged out the room not bothering to tell him where she was going.

Battousai heard the front door slam. Shutting his eyes he really tried finding a calm in himself. Apparently there was none. He had done it again. Every time he worked for something and finally gained it---he would realized one, it was inferior, two it was not meant to be. That was always the situation, the very flicked one too.

Kicking the table down he cursed loudly at his mistakes.

Kaoru on the other hand had one objective, undo the whole thing. She was not only angry at her boyfriend, she was pissed to the last t. She knitted her brows in anger as she pushed past lanes of people. She got bad comments from a few but she shut them up with a slick curse. Her blood was already close to her skin, she could feel the gravity of anger consume her whole and vast. Passing what seem to be incident and accident, Enishi and his little crew of boys followed the young woman slickly. Kaoru walked to the Pharmacy asking for Pills that killed fetuses/developing zygotes within her. The Pharmacist looked at her, she was a bit young to be asking for such pills but he came to terms there were all sorts of people in this world. Purchasing the pills she made her way back to her home, as he came closer to her home, she was encompassed and encircled by ole rivals.

"Enishi" came her whisper…

"Kao-baby, how are yuh?" he asked with his hands in his pocket.

She looked around, the faces normal to her. She looked at Enishi with her blood flaring.

"Oh you know me" she said lowly…

"Oh?" he asked rudely… "Listen babes I came here to do one thing" he walked to her holding her firmly by the shoulders…

"And that's finish what I originally started" he said…

"When will you kind gentlemen know…" she paused… "this lady is not for sale?" she tried pulling out.

Again she reckoned Enishi was extremely muscular and tardy looking. He was packed and cut perfectly. He was radiance in the darkness true, but his attitude was black acid.

Kaoru wanted no more of being beaten and treated like a bloody cur. She wanted suddenly to be normal. But there was nothing known as normal. No matter how far we ran we'd discover man was always intoxicated by religion and culture, someway it was considered normal to their society, but here she was… wanting to be normal when she herself wasn't quite sure what the heck that was. Closing her eyes, she wished she could run away, never to awake to the sickness we were to salvation, buried and corrupted to sin. She wish that the heaven's tears would finally wash her sin instead of her covering, she just wanted to be seen, found, known…loved, held…be herself…

But she could never be that… 'for the world has turned its back on me as I have turned my back to norm of it. I'm fedup of running in circles, fedup being the humanity's meat…I wanted to be different, but I know now…that was way too much to ask for…'

Surrounded by her fears, she opened her eyes and allowed Enishi to take her. At least then she'd be the nothingness and then suddenly different. Different from all, only to sleep in the hollow of her shell, never to awake to sunlight…only to die with silver tears as the angels who cried from heaven. Opening her eyes she smiled at Enishi…

"Go ahead Enishi…" she closed her eyes…

--

--

'My scar bleeds more…' he touched his cheek. 'Running back and forth like a stretch tape, I found that this was life…the fickleness we could never accept but we'd have to nevertheless…'

Running through the wet streets of Kyoto with nothing but a fear that kept him running, he wished that the bleeding of his cheek didn't say anything wrong. Splashing dark puddles onto his pants he just felt the burn of something bad occurring. Sixth senses were always made for something to warn us and he wished his was just jinxing.

Bursting through the street, he found Kaoru in Enishi's arms with tears on her face…

'I'm fedup of him haunting her' pulling out the weapon from his pocket he flung it straight at Enishi's back. The tanto stuck firmly into his back making him push awkwardly forward on Kaoru. Kaoru fluttered open her eyes…

Enishi was looking at her perfectly normal, until a thin blood-line traced down the side of his mouth. She backed up in horror…

Enishi fell giving sight to him.

"Anybody else wants to die?" came his intoned-silver voice…

The men looked at one another then back at Enishi.

"I'm outta here man…" one of them said whilst they made a quick run for it…

"What do you think you were doing?" Kaoru backed up

She backed up, leaning herself against the wall. Battousai followed her form…his eyes like a cat's one.

She pulled up her bag but the bottle had already tips over. Kaoru tried to stop it from rolling but it rolled straight to Battousai. Lifting the bottle up he read the name of the drug…

Looking at the woman detrimentally wrathful, he scowled. "What do you think you were doing?"

"Ending it" came her calm reply…

"Ending, WHAT?" he boldly asked…

"Ending the symbol of our love…" she spat broken-heartedly.

"Without my consent?" he asked exasperated.

"Yes, without your consent. If I didn't know any better I say you don't even care for me"

He sighed.

Taking out his phone from his pocket he began calling some one with one-touch.

"Hi…Katsura…I need you to come down and settle some business once and for all…" he shut the phone snap.

'I know that name…'

"Come with Kaoru…you need to know something…" he spoke calmly…

She nodded…

They walked back to the small house in peace. As they entered men were already in the house…

She ran behind Battousai but he assure her everything was okay.

"Kaoru this is Iizuka, Maebi, Katagi and Katsura" Battousai greeted.

"Hello" she said minutely.

"This man here Kaoru is my boss…" he pointed at Katsura…

"Okay that's nice. What's this all about?" asked Kaoru very confused.

"It's about who I am, what I do, what I shouldn't have done…" Battousai explained.

"Katsura Kogoro---is my boss. He is originally the founder of the Ishin shishi and Chozu clan. These clans are responsible for beating off the Shinsen…" he paused seeing a lot of confusion on her face.

"Kaoru…do you know about the killings recently?" asked Katsura…

"Indeed I do"

"Well good, those men are called the Shinsen, my group is called the Ishin shishi, which fights off these bad guys. My best soldier is Battousai Himura" he pointed off…

"Wait, if you say fight off, doesn't that mean…kill?" she asked uncertainly

"Correct…"

"You mean all this time---I was with---a murderer?" she asked indifferently…

"Correct"

"And he never told me?" she asked some more…

"Correct…"

"OH MY GOSH! I can't believe this is happening…you're a murderer and you didn't even tell me…boy am I stupid!!" she clutched her hair…

"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd have gotten on like this" Battousai frostily spoke…

"Agggh" she huffed.

"Continuing on now, you should know some stuff. The most important of them…is that I'm…" he paused… "I'm your father"

Kaoru nearly fainted, "Masaka! I don't believe this…this is madness…you're all mad" she stood up in shock…

"I know it's hard to believe but I am your father…and your name is not Kaoru Kamiya, your name is Kaoru Kogoro" he explained slowly…

This was just too much for Kaoru to digest. "No…that can't be. My father is Koijiro Kamiya…Kamiya Kasshin sensei and founder of Kamiya Kasshin, my mother is Katie Kamiya…you're lying this isn't true…" she cried…

"I know this isn't going to be easy to understand…but Kaoru you are my daughter. And your real mother's name is Kiagara Kogoro. She died giving birth to you…" he paused, "let me explain everything my daughter…"

"Damn it, I don't need to hear this nonsense---get out…NOW" she shouted…

"Battousai…" Katsura called…

Battousai held Kaoru down so she would listen to what their leader was saying.

"I shall start over, my name is Katsura Kogoro, I am the founder the Ishin shishi, the reason why I have built this clan was to assassinate the Shinsen from over-throwing modern day government. Your mother, a senator of the Japanese bicameral parliament became my fiancée when she discovered I was trying to protect her bill. She also realized that because she was fending to keep the new government in state, other allies were forcing her bill to fall, giving refuge to the Shinsen. Their first target was of course her, so I married her to keep her safe. Eventually along the line, she became pregnant with you, but she was found and beaten and injected with some very powerful drugs. She didn't tell anyone she had been injected but it was only at her deathbed she confessed. She was having you Kaoru, everything was working just fine, she had been pushing fine, her cervix walls relaxed so you could be pushed out. But something went horribly wrong. It so happens the medication that the Shinsen pumped in her was design to contract her cervix. So when she was pushing her cervix would deny to expand. It was already too late for her to have a suzerain, so she pushed nevertheless. It caused internal cutting of the uterus and the cervix, she bled profusely. The trouble was official now. One you weren't born with your head out, you were born with your feet first. Because internal bleeding meant flooding inside, we had to get you out before you'd drown in her blood. She had to be cut so the baby would come out. You came out healthy and beautiful. Your mother however…she was not so lucky" he paused remembering the incident.

"She touched face Kaoru…and she said to me, that is my Kaoru…my echo of joy in the insanity of the world…" he paused again seeing tears running down Kaoru's face.

"She told me after what had happened with the Shinsen, and then in her last moments she said to protect you and that she loved me…with that she closed her eyes." He paused to look at his daughter…

"I had close friends Kaoru, call the Kamiya's. They were my first recruit members but Kamiya was beginning to find refuge in the righteous way of life, so I gave him you. You grew all your life thinking they were your parents, afraid to say they weren't. When Katie died, Koijiro made a dojo that is the ghetto's home. He worked hard but he soon after died and you saw that death. I lost touch with him but you were handed down to your nana. And she knew everything about me. She took care of you and you loved her, which was good. I lost her number and the years increased my little knowledge on you. I had assigned Battousai at the age 15 to be my top murderer. When I found you by luck of Kenshin, Battousai reported you were not dead. I made him however assign him as your personal bodyguard. And I chose to format it in the way of your boyfriend. Now you know…"

"So all along everyone I knew had something they didn't want to tell me?" she cried silently, "how could you?"

"I did it…my child, to protect you" he explained…

"LIAR! You're a goddamn liar. My real father wouldn't abandon me…he'd never leave me to live this hell. NEVER!" She screamed, pulling out Battousai's hold walking away from him.

"You call yourself my father…do you know how much I needed my 'real' father when he died? Do you? Huh? Huh? HUH? I guess you'll never know...and you know why?" she screamed

Katsura looked at her…

"Because you're not my bloody father. I don't care what you say but I'll never accept you as my flesh and blood. What you did is high-class bullshit. Even if Kiagara Kogoro is my mother and she did say to protect me I know she didn't mean it that way…I was only a baby…how could you sleep when you cast your baby into a world of shadow?" she whispered sadly…

"I'm sorry hime-chan…"

"I'm not your princess…"

"You are…my child" Katsura said…

"Prove it" she said defiantly.

"Katagi" Katsura said softly

The man nodded taking out different set of documents. Katsura paced his hands over the papers showing pictures to Kaoru of her small self in the hands of him, her father. Kaoru read through the papers. 'Name: Kaoru Lily Kogoro. Date of Birth…'

Kaoru couldn't believe it. Closing the folder in disbelief she saw a symbol she knew far too well.

"This sign…" Kaoru started tracing her fingers over the weaving circle…

"You've seen it before haven't you?" Katsura asked…

"Yes…I have" Kaoru confessed… "but how—you?" she was hushed off when Katsura rose his shirt up on his radius, where the same pattern remain…

"Because this is Ishin shishi logo…each person of the Ishin is tattoo with this logo. As you are my daughter, it has to be burnt onto your skin. From a young age I marred your skin promising it with our family's logo." He spoke…

Kaoru closed her eyes, collapsing on the floor she just cried. "This is so har-d" she cried …

Battousai made impulses to collect her but Katsura waved him off.

"You…Battousai, my mother…her death…everything…I'm so confused" she whispered bitterly. 'I can't describe this feeling of empathy…this race of confusion and hate and everything way-ward in my head won't stop'

Kaoru pulled her hair just crying heavily in the transparent smoke of hurt. Katsura went to his daughter taking slow steps to her, pulling her hands from her face, he gave a soft face. Kaoru just cried, she needed so much love and care. Leaning forward she dropped in his arms…

"I'm so sorry koishii" he whispered…

* * *

A night that is endlessly stained in black, gave birth to sequins and diamonds of white. Sparkling truths and ethereal beauty as pristine as innocents. Sapphire eyes as bright as dying supernovas sparkled at the dark heavens of night. In her eyes were tears floating around such shiny orbs. Holding herself tightly she tried finding an answer in the sky.

Behind her was her lover who leaned against a wall. The raven head beauty just looked at the night. The world was still alive with agility and noise. The sirens from police and ambulances could be heart. The soft wind that daunted her features breathed slowly on her, making her hair fly into the amidst. She breathed slowly trying to find something. Alone she was, trying to find this something.

Battousai inclined forward, seeing the pain itched on her face. There was so much that was said. So much that hurt her. She kept running from the world. And in a way he didn't think it right…

Shuddering and shivering, she bit her lips to keep herself from breaking down. Enclosing his arms around her she shut her eyes just letting the last of her tears fall.

She accepted his embrace knowing it was all she had. Inside her the storm raged endlessly and everything she worked for was suddenly gone like wind to the heavens.

'Beating the bowels of everything right inside of me. Nothing seems to die. Fearing to fall I still tremble and fall down this slide endlessly…

Haunting faces bloom tonight in the crack of everything wrong and right. Shaped and colored in darkness --voices of dark angels sing to me. When I scream it goes through all the halls. The echoes come back at me. No one hears me call. Alone I am…to be---alone I am to fall.'

"Kaoru…" he called…

'Is that my name?' she wondered…

"Koishii…"

'Is that another one of my fictitious names?'

"Kaoru…" he called softly in her ear…

She wrenched her eyes shut.

'Drunk we are on this illusional wonder that says and speaks a language of its own. Never quite understanding love, we just knew it felt right. But can love take away broken-hearts, broken-wings that we need to fly with? Can it? No…it can't'

"Koishii…I know you're hurt, but please don't allow yourself to hurt all the time" he begged…

"My body is cut and my soul is bleeding…my eyes are blinded, and brain is failing…how many times do I have to come back to reality---a sick game which only masters of the cosmos are watching. How many times do I have to wake?" she whispered…

"Koishii…I know I shouldn't have kept certain things from you…but I only did it because I had to protect you…" he whispered

"I know Shinta…" it was the first time she called him that…

His eyes were wide. "But I can't keep allowing myself to fall. I am crumbling and shattering inside. The shards of my heart are cutting my soul and there is nothing left to hold but the hollowness of the nothingness…that is what I am now…" she cried.

"No koishii…you're not that…you're much more than that…" he whispered

"Much more than WHAT? CRAP?" she snapped out his hold…

He went silent…

"My life is deprived, do you think one day they'll write about me in books and stories and stuff? Do you think I can fly like a fricking bird in the sky? No one ever hears me scream, it all comes back as echoes to me. Where is the silence that I ask for even in my decline? Where are all these hurtful feelings hiding in and out my mind. Where is the thing I ask for that my soul bleeds to have?" she screamed…

Battousai blinked at her…

"I am falling…slowly that it seems I'm not, but I am. I can't keep dreaming. Everybody in this world feels tired, and frustrated and has a wish, but you know what sometimes we can't relax, we can't feel free and we can't make those wishes because they won't come true. I'm fedup believing---I think I should just rest…"

"What about me Kaoru" he barked coldly…

"What about you?" she asked

"I am a murderer. I am stained in a red-colour you could never see. When I watch my hands I constantly see this vermilion flamboyant flower, that flower is blood. I am so attached to it –that it disguises itself in something pretty. I could never wash it off and so for my sins. Victims who screamed in their last minutes were embraced by the look of liquefied amber. Distressed eyes that saw more than the morbid, offensive and fetid still lives another day. A man as myself has no face when all I am is some shadowy unwashed body left to clean cities in my rancid style. With one muscular flick of my katana it's all over, and the world never knew what hit them. A scar buried under the skin cannot heal and so my whole heart is covered with those scars. Bit by bit I fall as I am drained from mortal sanity and human civil right. A body which is won has allowed frost-bitten invitation to mate with me soundlessly. And the night as black as it is…is always more brighter than the heart of a murderer…" he volume in a low howl.

Kaoru swallowed the lump…

"So why screen it from me?"

"Because when my red hands come close to your white hands I find solace and light…and truth…and that's what I'm looking for, and I found it…" he whispered…

"I never knew that…" she whispered herself

"You don't know a lot of things about me…" he said lowly.

She had nothing to say. Really she was lost of words.

"I know Kaoru you are an antique of painful-excruciating-baffling and mystifying events, but should that stop you from being yourself…hmmm"

"I wanted to be different Shinta…"

"Well have I got a surprise for you…" he retorted…

"Oh…?"

"You know Kaoru, you're not the only person who hurt…and because of that you're not really different" he spoke softly…

"…Yes I am…its how I hurt makes me different" she whispered

"You know what forget it…you're not even hearing me" he was frustrated…

"I need someone Shinta…"

"Well I am not going to be that someone to give you self-pity…" he shouted

Kaoru… 'is that what I wanted?'

'Yes…I did…'

'After running so long I know what I want…'

"Kaoru…please…stop it…just live with me…" he went to her…

She cried as she herself walked to him, hugging him she cried in his arms…

"I wanted to be cared for…that's what I wanted. Care…I wanted someone to tell me I was alive and living –and that I wasn't dead or a shadow but there by their side breathing…I wanted that…since I couldn't have it I made myself want it by showing me and feeding me self-pity" she hugged him…

"Oh baby…" he kissed her head…

They looked at the stars, all the memories of them just stuck together bringing the moment they shared alive and endless. Eternal and forever as love is…as angels be…

* * *

Kaoru and Battousai got married with her Misao (they made up), Aoshi, the ghetto, and the Ishin shishi witnessing the marriage. It was just a matter of time. Battousai kissed his bride wanting to feel this day so badly. His family was here but just so shortly. Kaoru remembered the finality of that kiss, the kiss that said he was hers and she was his. Finally after so long Kaoru could see light and Battousai could appreciate the light she was.

In months time Kaoru and Battousai were attending the same university Tokyo Metropolitan University, a proud university that only accepted the best of the best. There were several universities but Tokyo Metro. Un. was one of the most advance in the country. Kaoru was on her ninth month in university her room-mate, her husband. Since "her" daddy spoke to the board of the university they were permitted to sleep in the same room and –stuff.

* * *

(Time sails)

Kaoru and Battousai had a little daughter…and they called her

"SCARLETT Stop right there missy" Kaoru screamed out as her little daughter stole a next cookie.

Of course the little child didn't listen. The front door of their university apartment was opened to Katsura and Battousai. The little girl jumped in her grand father's arms.

Kaoru ran around the corner looking for the bugger. Scarlet squealed. Shoving the cookie in her mouth she smiled at her mommy. Kaoru had to look angry, she was reading it from a mommy book.

"Koishii your daughter is very naughty" Kaoru said to her husband…

"Is that true Scarlet?" he took the little girl from his boss.

The little girl nodded no. Battousai laughed.

"So where have you two been, hmm koishii, daddy?" she had grown and from there learn to say his name… she knew Koijiro Kamiya would always be her father…but for now it was the least she could do for her real father.

"Buying some cookies…" Katsura spoke…

"For whom?" Kaoru asked

"I know not Scarlet" the little girl pouted…

Kaoru collected her daughter, the red hair blue eyes child was a symbol of her love with her husband.

That night Kaoru pat Scarlet asleep with Battousai behind her.

"Thank you koishii…" Kaoru turned to him…

"Oh baby…" he held her kissing her momentarily on the lips…

"I know what bliss and happiness is…" she paused looking at her daughter, "thanks to you" …

To my friends who want to commit suicide, remember there's a lesson to be learned from everything we do. If you feel that suicide makes you forgotten and makes you think that the world would be wider and roses would smell better then that's not true. Victims of suicidal members have a lot tears for you. Families that once seem unified become broken when your loss is upon them. It takes a year to three years to heal such wounds. Wounds that take hold on people and strangle them. You're killing other people by your loss…so remember if you feel nobody cares for you, then guess what…you are…I care for you…regardless what…

_In the arms of the angel  
fly away from here  
from this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you feel  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort here_

_DEDICATED TO ALL THE SUICIDAL-KIDS and TEENS OF MODERN TIMES…_

* * *

_Owari__… _

**_This fanfiction is rated R for the advisory of suggestive themes, violence, profanity and an inclination in waff. This fanfiction does not however contain a lemon or any explicit sexual motioning!_**

* * *

An: Hi, well this is the deepest fic I have yet. I don't think I have a deeper fic. I just wanted to say that this fic really did come from within---it took time and ideas. I hope you guys liked it, it's the least I could do for never finishing one my fics…so sorry guys…

To all the helpful mixes of music I listened to I had to say these were the most helpful:

**-Linkin Park- Lying from you (title name), Faint, Easier to run, Numb.**

**-Korn- Hollow life, No one's there, Here to stay.**

-Avril Lavigne- Forgotten, Take me away, Happy ending.

-Cranberries- Zombie.

-Sarah Mclachlan- Angel.

Wishing you the best and the nothing the less (fhb 2004 © quote)

Review if you are connected to this fic…


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